Anxiety: what happened, a guess at why, and a preliminary plan to escape. TW: obesity talk.

[oak]

(TW: obesity discourse frank talk)

What we talk about when we talk about obesity:

Today, just now, I had a brief but intense anxiety meltdown regarding the current discussion of obesity.

Speaking strictly for myself, I think it is better for me to separate from the current discourse surrounding obesity.

Specifically, a few minutes into this NPR podcast quickly spiraled me:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/04/25/1171112216/fat-talk-diet-culture-parenting-kids-virginia-sole-smith

I also got a bit too much into the Reddit forum called r/fatlogic

Again, I give zero cares about how anyone else lives their life. I do care, very much, that I make the most of this second chance I've been given, through and after my midlife crisis.

With your kind indulgence, in further posts I'll leave the topic itself behind, and focus on why I experienced anxiety, how I can get through this anxiety experience, and how to do better going forward so I can most effectively follow my dreams/interests/passions.

[Mental Fairy]

Anxiety is a tricky speed hump to navigate. The temporary vessel we have, also known as our body, can be crafted into what ever we wish. However, realistically it can only do so much and there is no way in the world I would think of you as any different just because of appearances.
The body represents our external and internal worlds and when those worlds don’t align we start to notice different things, tense muscles, frown lines, breakouts, darkness around the eyes, weight gain, weight loss.
We judge ourselves daily and I myself am guilty of this. It’s learning to speak kindly to yourself Oak. You have come so far.

[manuel_moe_g]

I wish I had some wisdom to relate with regards to anxiety, but my mental state leans much more towards depression and not anxiety

Please take care, Oak, we support you and we are very proud of you

[oak]

Thank you Mental Fairy and Manuel Moe! I appreciate your insight and encouragement.

Since posting that, I snaped at several of my colleagues during a Zoom meeting. I apologized, which they accepted.

Anxiety and anger: two sides of the same coin.

Something is going on. I am making good changes: specifically, in the last month I've bet on myself with both barre and daal.

Perhaps these two positive changes are a sign of eustress, which is still stress.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustress

If I may quote from the Wikipedia article:

Eustress occurs when the gap between what one has and what one wants is slightly pushed, but not overwhelmed. The goal is not too far out of reach but is still slightly more than one can handle.

[Mental Fairy]

I can relate on the snapping part Oak, it’s almost uncontrollable and unexpected and comes as a surprise even to myself. There is like an inner dialog that yells back, ‘where the heck did that come from’

[rivergirl]

Hi Oak,

The eustress theory makes a lot of sense to me.

Coincidentally I was listening to that same NPR episode on my way to work, and didn't go back to finish it after work. I don't know your particular reasons for stopping and don't need to know, but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone in finding it to be a difficult listen.

I hope you're able to move even a tiny bit toward your goals this week, Oak. Every effort you're making counts.

rg

[oak]

RiverGirl, great to hear from you. I hope you're doing well.

Coincidentally I was listening to that same NPR episode on my way to work, and didn't go back to finish it after work. I don't know your particular reasons for stopping and don't need to know, but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone in finding it to be a difficult listen.

Well said.

Going forward, I'm going to stick with peer-reviewed studies: PubMed is a priceless treasure. I want to be right where the research is: if PubMed says the Mediterranean Diet is effective at reducing obesity (and curing my sleep apnea), then that is my plan.