Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

There was a difficult moment at the end of the day; a potential conflict. I was cognizant of its placement and adjusted my engagement to ensure the evening would not be affected.

I found a level of emotional safety during the day which allowed me to think some thoughts I wouldn’t have risked before. I can’t recount the thoughts now unfortunately though they’re bound to come back around.

It’s something crucial about not forcing things, not overreaching. Maybe there aren’t words, or no words required.

For now I’m just going to remember to ‘Do less’.

[Beany Boo]

Kicking ass as per usual, Beany!

Thanks MM

[manuel_moe_g]

In honor of you, Beany, I will write out with pen on a 3x5 notecard a mood & theme for the day

My mood & theme will be the concept of “glide”

My life will be immeasurably improved if I “glide” through life

The opposite feel horrible, let me tell you

[Beany Boo]

Woke up without ado.

Today feels a little auspicious.

No reason. I just feel like things don’t have to be right today for things to go right. They don’t have to make sense for me to work it out.

‘Do less’ and ‘we’ll work it out’.

There were a few incidents yesterday that hinted at that; at landing it regardless.

I don’t feel like my will is any more resolved; just that I’m more available somehow.

The goal today is just keep becoming ready. Ready to listen, to feel, to back off, to modulate.

And be kind.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I found myself compelled to turn the listening faculty on, though gently.

The conflict of yesterday loomed, but didn’t eventuate, and probably won’t now.

The evening looks very good.

I’ve no reason to be optimistic. I’ll practice optimism anyway without much force or logic.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up feeling flat but safe emotionally.

The day promises the same.

I want to let it be a bit all over the place without having to match that pattern myself. I kind of want to ‘draw’ a beautiful day through the midst of it.

I think it’s going to be a few weeks of learning listening techniques and practicing them. I am slightly curious about what’s happening for the people around me. I’m ready for a little more information.

If today goes as well as yesterday I might celebrate tonight. Maybe by risking some more confident ideas about how I am progressing.

[Mental Fairy]

Darn you need to makeover my brain!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF

[Beany Boo]

Today went well, overly so, though not in a way I could have expected.

I guess you could say I hit my stride midafternoon.

There was something holding me back previously that wasn’t there today.

It’s still the same struggle as always but there’s a vigor and poise to it today.

The listening and communicating techniques I’m learning are working a little.

I’m sure I’m partially wrong in my approach, but I’m getting it right more often than I normally do.

My emotional safety is growing imperceptibly.

[Beany Boo]

I struggled a little to fall asleep. I focused on keeping my cervical spine aligned and that seemed to work. I woke up flustered but immediately settled down.

I did a PTSD exercise first thing. It was surprisingly effective.

I’m not sure about today. I feel myself dealing with a few situations that are simply too complex for me. I feel fine not being able but there’s a tedious insistence.

I’m not sure how to proceed today. The sense of danger I’m accustomed to experiencing, that guides me, is not there so much.

I’m guessing ‘do less’, don’t push, listen and breathe will probably work.