Anniversaries

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Swamp Witch, awesome to see you in the forum again!

The replacing of "steroid" to "gumdrop" was back when the forum was under attack by illegal dark-web steroid sellers spamming the heck out of our little forum

happily, the last attack was a while ago, so i removed the "word censoring" feature that changed "steroid" to "gumdrop"

silly me, i forgot why i chose the word "gumdrop"...

please snuggle your kitty, great to hear your priority is taking care of yourself

EMDR is great, Family Systems therapy is great (speaking directly to the part of your psyche that is doing it's best to protect you, but maybe in a way that is not helpful for reaching your highest goals), Somatic emphasis in therapy is great (really focusing on the parts of the body that are holding on to the trauma)

all the best!

[moonlightwatie]

Trauma Anniversaries suck.
My "widowhood season" is all of July and the first half of August. I'm almost done with season 8. July was easier than usual but this month sucks.
I always take the late Mr. Watie's death day and his birthday off. I am coping better overall, but it's taken many years to get here. Last year I had weekly therapy and that was very helpful.

[Swamp Witch]

I made it though Trauma-versary 2023!

About 2 weeks ago I found and joined a support group for SJS survivors. On one hand it has been so relieving to meet other people who had SJS, and the other hand holds a sizable chunk of survivors guilt. I have had a very good recovery, haven't lost very much function at all. The second I joined the group I saw people who were blinded by the syndrome, lost an eye, or have other serious autoimmune concerns on top of disfigurements and scars, or lost a lung and cant reap the benefits of exercise, or can't even eat solid food anymore because their stomach was destroyed. It made me feel at once incredibly grateful for my good condition and like a total fucking fool for ever having a hard time.

I know I am entitled to my struggles. But just...I think that when I saw all these intense struggles in front of me, there's some part of me that kind of shook its head in disappointment at how little progress I've made in my life since recovering. I guess it's the difference between knowing something, and believing it. Im sure I'll still feel this way even if I wind up being really "successful" and meet all my goals in life, but I mean....it'd be nice to meet even one, y'know?

At the same time it's been a real gift to be able to support other survivors, especially those who had the syndrome recently. My experience is finally helping real people who need real help. Even when I feel powerless to comfort them, I hope my words can help just a little bit.

It's been complicated.

In other news I'm finally getting back to being active again, my foot has healed enough to withstand several short easy runs per week, and I'm in PT to learn how to train properly and stay injury free. It feels so so good to run again.

Til next time,

Swamp Witch

[manuel_moe_g]

I think that when I saw all these intense struggles in front of me, there's some part of me that kind of shook its head in disappointment at how little progress I've made in my life since recovering.

Please remind yourself that it isn't a competition, and be gentle to yourself.

[Swamp Witch]

I knowwww I know how dangerous this thought process is. But it's a struggle. Sometimes I feel like all my dissatisfaction is my fault, because I can't make my dreams come true. Not even the little ones.

Despite it being extremely self-centered haha, that I have so much "power", & that seeing other survivors of my rare illness would of course have this effect of reinforcing MY old ideas....Its just a very well-worn path in my head, it can be difficult to steer elsewhere.


I don't always feel this way, I just do right now.


I'll feel better after I get home and go running.

[manuel_moe_g]

Sometimes I feel like all my dissatisfaction is my fault, because I can't make my dreams come true. Not even the little ones.

wow, this sums up my current challenge perfectly. i seem to be not up to the task, not even a little bit

when i feel that way, i will try to respond immediately with "when i fall down, i get back up, that is the most magical thing about me"

please take good care, Swamp Witch, all blessings to you, all strength to you, and all courage to you.