Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Phew, i made it to the end of Thursday.

Found a nice podcast called Mindset Change with Paul Sheppard. Just nice voice to listen too.

My anticipation of what is to come over the coming days is exhausting. Leaving my job, going back to my true profession potentially. The race. My head is all over the place, not sure what way to turn.

It is a fine clear day after the thunder and lighting storm. The snow is low on the hill and ski field i think is open? Not sure, but looks low enough.

My boss is now away until Monday. I am so glad. I don't have to be in her presence for three days. She now thinks that NZ Government is listening in on her tv, that russian news is being stopped from coming into NZ, the list goes on and on. She is acting all weird about the war over there and i'm starting to think she has lost her mind more than i thought she had.

I had a beautiful patient in this afternoon, she does waka ama. She is 53 and currently training for world tournament. She had asked me why and when i started running, i said when my mum died and to help with the grief. She burst into tears. I asked why, she said she started waka ama when her son took his life last year. We talked recipes, we talked grief and we stood there. Two people different cultures, her Maori and me european. We felt the same pain, for loss and the same need to survive and cope. It felt for a moment that i was with one of you from our little group here. I admire you all, i admire her.

Grief Oak, i know you will read this....i just want you to know you are heard my friend. Troebia also, you have brought such insight into the forum. I can see beany in the mix sitting in cross legged position learning and living in his beautiful way. SD, at the table bringing up some very thought provoking questions, Manuel Moe at the whiteboard leading the pack and keeping us safe and warm. Rivergirl popping by from time to time, swampwitch also. Omg you all rule in your own way. Trobia i want to buy some of your work!!!

Home time for me, go and make some burger patties and settle in for the night. I have a car boot full of meal replacement drinks to get back onto as i yet again have to have a bowel rest after the run. Fun times ahead.

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

You're facing a lot of heavy things these days... but

...the race. My head is all over the place, not sure what way to turn.

May I gently encourage you to remember all the wonderful things you wrote about it? There's so much more than the race itself.

I used to run with a dear friend Les. He is on the beautiful spectrum of something and he doesn't want to be labeled. But he can tell you everything you need to know about the most amazing things, from fungus to trees, birds to bugs and everything in between the sky and solid earth. I first got to meet him on my lap! He was a patient and i had the joy of rebuilding his smile and confidence. He learnt i was a runner and low and behold one day i went to the mailbox and he ran past.

This means i'm running with him for 21km and around a lot of people. Something Les struggles with also. I gave it a few hours and i kept thinking about it, all of a sudden i asked myself.....what if i said yes? How would i feel? what would i miss out on?

So.....i said yes, i will go. So the two of us very introvert people will be leaving August 11th in the early hours to make away to the central north island. We should be there by lunch where we will check into a fancy accommodation, go do the hedge maze and night walks in the treetops. Saturday is our run which will take up most of the day, in the avo we hope to head to the buried village and blue and green lakes. We will come back to New Plymouth on the Sunday at some stage, maybe pass through Taupo on the way.

I kid you not yesterday i felt so excited to go on this trip, i have never done this before with anyone other than the boys.

I am somewhat nervous also but i am sure with having someone who is a little like me we can get through it. We used to take his daughter geocaching with Matt for a couple of years. I honestly feel like this is a big leap for me.

Fun times ahead.

Yes! In the positive sense!

[oak]

Agreed with our good friend SnoringDog.

[Mental Fairy]

I have resigned from my job, omg it feels so good. I will be taking over the new dental practice and going back to being a dental therapist. I have been into clinic today and all is sorted. Shit it feels like a relief.

[oak]

I am glad you took this difficult step, Mental Fairy.

We are happy to stand by you as you effect this change. Keep us posted!

[snoringdog]

Wow, congratulations!

Hope all goes well, and keep us posted!

[Mental Fairy]

The stony river today

[Mental Fairy]

It’s Monday, today I submit my resignation letter. I fear this women and am feeling physically sick. My shoulders are tight, my back hurts. This is stress manifesting.

[oak]

We/I are right there next to you.

You can use this as your mantra: “When no one has my back, it is time to move my back”.

Also, I might resign myself on Monday, so we are sort of twins!

At any rate, good luck and keep us posted.

This needs to be done.

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

Just want to state the obvious here, for your edification.

You have given so so much to this doctor and to all of her patients for so long now.
It isn't easy, and it would take a toll on anyone, no matter the work environment.

I wish the circumstances were better for you all.
She seems burned out, and I hope she can regain some equilibrium and composure.
Life is so very hard.

As a side note, I just finished the book "ER Nurses".
Several of them describe putting the harrowing experiences of dealing with their patients "in boxes and putting them on a shelf". They visit the shelf periodically, open a box, check the contents, then carefully reshelve it. Seems like a good way to keep a mental boundary and not spiral in.

Wishing you the best.

SD