Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Today was flatline uneventful. I couldn’t be more relieved.

I felt pleasantly anonymous.

I also felt like my honest self.

I’m sure it will change again, like the weather, but for now, I’m happy that nothing happened today.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up messily but emotionally safe.

The practical disorder continued as I got ready but still the emotional regulation remained in intact.

I think that might set the tone for the day. It was kind of indicated yesterday.

As long as there’s emotional safety things can get pretty messy in all other respects.

I’ll work with that theme today.

I can almost see midafternoon and feel the freedom of it.

I got some good listening and empathy in this week. I’ll keep slowly building the technique and noting the outcomes.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well

I haven’t experienced any of the normal spikes in emotional arousal for a few days. I know it’s the PTSD work yielding results though I don’t know how.

I’m beginning to feel my beliefs change though I can’t really put it into words. It’s just about what I thought I was capable of and what’s actually available to me.

I feel like not having words is part of it. Some things just need time to take form.

Midafternoon was shiny.

[snoringdog]

Shine on!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks sd

[Beany Boo]

Woke up reluctantly but it passed quickly.

I was very pleased with how yesterday went though on the surface not a lot happened.

Today the urge to pace myself is strong.

Nothing to prove today, just balance being my abject self with showing bespoke kindness to everyone else.

Something is definitely changing but I probably won’t know for a while what exactly.

My only plan for now is to keep making choices until midafternoon blossoms.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well

I felt a bit clumsy and confused but even that didn’t hinder me.

I paced myself as planned.

As part of my PTSD work I’m starting to feel a natural sadness which apparently is a sign of recovery.

It’s getting a lot easier to discern when I’ve had enough of something. I’m also regularly not getting drawn into pandering anymore. It’s a big shift though which gets overwhelming in certain moments.

It’s definitely paying off though.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up wretched but emotionally steady.

I feel all my flaws this morning.

There were some moments this week where I genuinely reached in my mind for something safe. I swell a little with pride recalling that. No one caught me in the act of reaching which was my fear.

I’m not sure what today holds. I’m about 40% hopeful and curious. That’s pretty good.

I have my routine. I don’t feel like I have far to go.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I succumbed to a flu.

I read the New Yorker in a cafe.

I rode my bicycle under the Sun.

It’s late afternoon now and I feel pretty resilient.

Something continues to change in my mind. I’m working with a sense of something I genuinely want, being available to me, without the form of it being clear.

Huge.

[Mental Fairy]

Sitting at my desk, files piling high.
I needed to read some beany posts as you bring so much insight and inspiration to the forum, you make me feel at some sort of peace for some reason!!

Thanks for being here