Mind Body and Trauma

[oak]

Thank goodness, Mental Fairy.

I am sorry you went through all that, and I’m glad you made it.

I hope your next stage of life is much better.

[snoringdog]

I can give no more. My tank is empty.

I think we all can bear witness to that. You've given so much to the people in your care.

Such a sad situation, I wish it were better.

And I hope her patients have other options.
And I hope she can somehow be changed.

Agreeing with Oak too ....

[Mental Fairy]

It’s done, it’s over, no more job at Healthy Women Ltd!

Karma came yesterday. I walked into the clinic at 8am, I admit I was a little nervous at home the day would play out. I spoke to myself in the mirror and said to be as professional and just be myself.

The vibe in the building was off, the boss was not pleasant to be around but I ignored it.
Our last patient of the day was flying back to Texas in two weeks but unfortunately had very alarming symptoms that a local doctor informed us about on Monday. I moved patients to fit this patient in so we could make sure it wasn’t progressing cancer.
At 4pm the patient walked in with a massive bunch of flowers, card and sweets and asked if I was the person she has been talking to on the phone. I said yes and she immediately hugged me and thanked me for my work and understanding in front of my boss. Karma came.
My boss rolled her eyes and walked away. It felt like the universe gave her a kick in the arse to show her what she has lost.
She never said goodbye, couldn’t even look at me. The new person who I have been training up was terrified of her. She even brought in holy water. She can see now what this women is like.

I walked out of there holding my head high and felt proud of my work. Time to go back to my true profession, back to the future.

Adore you all, thank you so much for your support during my meltdowns, my struggles and my good days too. You all played a part in me arriving at this point in my life to leave this role and start again.

[oak]

That is great, Mental Fairy. That is a real relief to hear.

Enjoy the next stage of your life!

[manuel_moe_g]

Fantastic, Mental Fairy! So proud of you staying professional through this difficult situation!

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you lovely support crew.

Currently sitting and waiting for my laundry. This morning I woke with less panic and less anxiety.
It will take a while to stop that feeling of worry about work emails, people’s results and patient requests. It’s going to settle in eventually that part of my life is over. As taxing as it was.
I had my hair cut short, picked up my friend Donya to take her to have her drain removed from chest, post mastectomy. We sat and had coffee and muffins and talked the morning away. It’s amazing what paths we go down when coffee and a lazy morning kicks in!

Lawns are now mowed, garden is in order. Got wood for the deck.

My mind feels exhausted, my dreams are creeping back in. I can see now some kind of pattern forming. Stress is a massive part of the dream and sleep walking that’s for sure.

On Tuesday I’m going to pack a picnic and load up the car, collect Donya and my dear friend Soral who has Parkinson’s and take them to a lovely spot below the hill (mountain) settle in and shoot the breeze!

I’ve come to rely on my medication for the bowel a lot more lately, without it things don’t work and the pain is rather unbearable. I’m aware in the background things are changing, progressing as I’m very swollen in the abdo area. I have a specialist consultation coming up, nerves are already setting in.

Seasons are changing, lots of lambs being born. When I go outside all I can hear is sheep baaaa baaa! Spring is in the air.

Better get a wiggle on. Hope you’re holding up without power Oak.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, I am glad you are feeling more yourself, and that the changing seasons are giving you a fresh start.

I am all good, in my second full day of no power. It is something of an unexpected deviation from ordinary life: I’m in my apartment, but it is a different kind of life, more quiet. It is not fun, or what I would have chosen, but I am grateful for the experience.

Two quick thoughts:

1. I am moving up the waitlist for the James Nestor book!

2. If you like podcasts about scammers, and (possible; I haven’t gotten that far, but she is very sus) Munchausen, you might want to try “Scamanda”. A portmanteau of “scammer” and “Amanda”. She might be more galling and shameless than Belle Gibs*n. TW for cancer claims.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

I’ve been highlighting so many paragraphs in the James Nestor book. It’s shocked me in so many ways. The power of breath is rather remarkable.

Keep having overwhelming urge to check work emails but I don’t have too anymore! It’s so freeing.

Matt turns 19 on Saturday, I absolutely refuse to buy anything such as technology so this year it’s about taping in to mindset. So on Saturday morning we all are to be in the car and ready to go to the flotation sanctuary. We will have sauna for 30min, then a 90min floatation tank experience to help calm nervous system down.

Matt enjoys the icebath so try something a little different and unexpected. He has no idea!

I’m sure the closer it gets to my start date back at dental, the most nervous I will get.

https://floatation.co.nz/

[Mental Fairy]

4:30 am start. Last night I did a lot of reading, Breath by James Nestor.
There is a chapter on breathing during exercises, something I have always focused on with running. Some breathing techniques I discovered years back helped me greatly while under pressure and struggling. When I was in that event I attended I really struggled. I focused on someone else’s breathing so I could distract myself from the pain.

Today I used a different breathing technique and ran my best 7km in months. I got home feeling ok, then i remembered there was no pressure to go to clinic, no pressure to do morning jobs. I came home stretched on the yoga mat after further breathing exercises. The relief of not having to see my past employer was incredible.

The dreams currently are somewhat annoying, mixed with self doubt and frustration. She has left a mental scar on me.
I will never let someone treat me like that again, yet she scared the shit out of me. Every time she walked into the clinic I started shaking, and unable to breathe. Never ever again.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, I saw this on Reddit and thought of your situation:

https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/1633a03/coincidentally_i_quit_my_job_16_days_ago