Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Woke up okay. I’m not so fussed now if I wake up a little raggedy. It doesn’t predict the day on evidence. As long as I sleep enough hours that is.

Listening is not such a special event now, after a month of actively trying. I’m going into work knowing I will probably actively listen to at least one person. I’ll probably ask at least one open question and receive surprise new information. I am curious about where my beginner steps will take me.

I still struggle to deliver answers without devolving into word-salad.

There’s part of me that thinks that if I could just communicate slightly better - more succinctly, pithily - something could lift off.

And five acts of kindness.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I was quite exhausted mentally. I didn’t let it hinder me. It has a been a bit uphill lately but, I’m in a hiking mood.

I struggled with word salad again today though.

It’s possible it’s because I’m over-sensitive this week; now that I am connecting slightly better with others. I don’t think it’s a problem, just something to be aware of; a hazard when seeking to understand other people.

I nearly got triggered about something at midafternoon. But I managed to draw successfully on an insight I’d had recently, about the issue. It was enough to allow me to not make it about me.

I’m clear through ‘til bedtime.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up without ado.

I had an experience in the evening that I thought was going to trigger a crisis. It ended up being all the way validating instead.

I’m starting to let myself be affected more emotionally, by my listening practice. Where I was concerned before, I can now see the risk is less than I was bracing for.

My pacing also seems to have leveled up. I was pottering this morning and noticed the cadence of my movements was even and unhurried. It was very pleasing in that mindful moment.

I want to get some big things done today by paradoxically, doing less. Do less things, do the things left, more so. Leave some gaps in my worry-story for ‘good uncertainty’.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well

I feel like I have some momentum now; that I am not starting from the beginning constantly.

There is a fear though. It’s a fear of succeeding as much as of failing.

I definitely experience the progress already built up though. Today had some flow to it; less caution.

It feels like at least some of the stuff I have been trying is yielding benefits.

I look forward to waking up tomorrow and continuing.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Beany,

It is interesting that you talk about your days so abstractly

It allows you to tap into Tao and Zen for guidance , I feel

I am stuck with the nitty-gritty details of my daily challenges

All the best to you, wishing you fantastic luck and a life to cherish

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM

My writing on here is always a progress update specifically on my mental health/illness. That has to be the purpose of the forum for me.

I want to get better or, better at managing.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I managed my time fractionally better.

Also my thoughts felt slightly more in order.

I am feeling my limitations but not as much as usual.

It’s midafternoon. I’m resting. Any anxieting urges to perfectionize keep evaporating before they become anything.

I’m determined to rest.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up with the alarm but not too painfully.

Not sure about today.

I feel like there’s something I want to get right for myself.

I can sort of taste it but it’s undefined.

I’ll stay close by, attention-wise and maybe catch a better glimpse.

And 5 acts of unconditional kindness between now and midafternoon.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up okay although a little tense, like I have a hold of the tiger’s tail.

I am not going to have so much control today. I accept that. I will still have some though.

It might be a time to fly.

I will exercise my basic listening skills and look out for signs of myself in situations.

I will probably trust myself a little more, as a remedy to less control. But I won’t force it.

Trust will feel like readiness.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up with the alarm but fine.

Lots of dreams.

Very calm today.

I feel like today might be a very good one. Nothing planned or anticipated. I just feel like the threads might spool together without much coaxing.

I’ll use that promise to generate kindness credit (whatever that is, I made it up). That way, when I come into contact with people I’ll be ready.

I’m starting to have a simpler experience of a world that remains as complicated as ever.

Do less.