Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Tried some breakfast today, simple plain slice of toast. The feeling of fatigue is rather intense. I am off to oncology today at 11, Joe agreed to go finally. He’s just finding the talks we have there are confronting and hard to take in. The abdominal area feels feeling and assaulted. Better than yesterday however. I feel like I could sleep forever and not feel bad about it. The the body go through the motions.

[manuel_moe_g]

Praying for you, Mental Fairy

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh, what a week. Somewhere in me there is a fighting gene that kicks kicking arse!
Had oncology, samples taken. Confirmed disease in motion. Long boring yucky story later I’m still fighting. The tumour is not growing but the Crohn’s is. Mother f!€£er!!

Took me till Friday to be able to stay upright all day. Yes I went back to work. I love my work. Patients are amazing. Fixing people is incredibly satisfying and making them smile. Back where I belong. The welcome back has been comforting.

Meanwhile, I have been making progress on my anxiety journey. Writing in this book, healing for words. A little exercise has come up to look at a little art drawing and write about it.
Just this simple project lead me to thinking about Troeia’s diary and art world. When one person looks at art they see one thing that tells a story, then the next person does and it could be a completely different story. I’ve never really given this to much thought until today when i was asked to look at a sketch and write a story about it. I’m going to ask my niece who does nice art to see what her thoughts are as she is a teenager and see her thought pattern.

Sleep walking still, tried getting out again to stop Joe doing gardening at 2am in the morning. I’m really heading for the padded rooms at this rate!

Hugs to all

[troebia]

A little exercise has come up to look at a little art drawing and write about it.
Just this simple project lead me to thinking about Troebia’s diary and art world. When one person looks at art they see one thing that tells a story, then the next person does and it could be a completely different story.

A piece of art can mean so many things to different people, even be considered "not art" which is OK too. MF, I hope you can get some therapeutic relief from the exercise you mention. I can heartily recommend doodling as therapy and meditation. The results don't have to signify or symbolise anything, ideally they just spill onto the page when you're in a state of "flow". Here below is one I did today while waiting for a watercolor to dry. What does it mean? I could try to extract some meaning, for example the foremost figure could represent my inner suffering and mental illness. The others could be good guys ganging up on him from behind and he's just realised that he's outnumbered: I have Therapy Man and Medicine Man on my side now! Anything is possible. Hugs.

img400.jpg (164.51 KiB) Viewed 1622 times

[manuel_moe_g]

Troebia, I think you are in my top 10 favorite artists!

You are doing everything I wish I could if I could create

To me, this black and white piece is of 4 average male citizens, and their heads are full of all the lies and prejudices that society expects us to swallow

[troebia]

Thanks Manuel Moe, you're too kind.
A drawing can mean whatever you want it to, and I can easily "see" your interpretation.
Btw I hope this is all right with Mental Fairy and that she's feeling better.

[Mental Fairy]

It is absolutely ok Troebia.
Back to work today. Wednesday is the start of my working week.

I got a call yesterday in regards to latest test results and it looks like the Crohn’s is not just back but back with vengeance. I spoke with the specialists via phone link and confirmed that solids are no longer an option for a while. Something i already knew anyway. The body was throwing up red flags all over the place. This annoys me as we have a work dinner at the end of the month and I will be on liquid only. Today I will collect my Fortisip and Ensure that will last me three months and hope that I don’t end up back on the tube feeding. That makes life incredibly challenging.

This morning I woke with a kind of daze not knowing what way to turn, I do yoga, I meditate, I jog/run, I was eating so well it would make a rabbit look unhealthy. Yet it didn’t stop it from coming back. I have this feeling of separation between myself and my body. Maybe that’s the problem, maybe I’m just not in tune enough with this vessel of mine.

Currently sitting on my bed with my top eyelids wishing to close for another hour or more. I really miss the feeling of energy and wellness I thought i once had, but now that I look back I wasn’t full of energy or wellness. I was full of desire to distract myself from what was really gone on below the surface.

I have been working on my healing through words book and if anything it’s making me super angry. I dislike my handwriting, I can’t get the words into the page in a way that it makes sense. It seems a waste of time as it keeps coming back to my childhood. The foundations of which made me the way I am.

I better get a wiggle on and make my way into clinic.

Troebia your art makes me so happy to get to know you: I think it’s time I started to sketch something. It might flow better than words.

[Mental Fairy]

Just been asked to be guest speaker on podcast by Paul Sheppard. Mindset change.
Recording in November

[manuel_moe_g]

Please take care, Mental Fairy

Sounds exciting to be a guest speaker!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindset-change-healing-your-mind-and-body-podcast/id1400465711

[troebia]

Just been asked to be guest speaker on podcast by Paul Sheppard. Mindset change.
Recording in November

Congratulations MF!
I listened to a long episode and skimmed through a couple others. This Paul Sheppard guy seems gentle and lets people talk at length, imo to the point where maybe he should do some more editing or intervene more at times to move the conversation forward On what topic will you be speaking?