Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Woke up after enough sleep.

I’ve got some loose plans for today.

I had my bicycle serviced during the week. It feels like it is brand new. I will enjoy some pleasure riding it in the sunlight.

There is still a flashback: (d)anger-in-the-room-happening-long-ago. It’s becoming easier to separate it from feelings unfolding in the present.

Rather than be ever surprised by people’s reactions to my newfound listening capacity, I’m going to use the moment’s opportunity to jump in with a thrilling piece of life-filled stuff.

It won’t be much. It’s not that long until midafternoon.

[Beany Boo]

The week went well.

It was ridiculously full. I seemed to spontaneously develop the skill to respond though.

It’s surprising how much you can get done when you stubbornly refuse to do it perfectly.

I sort of made a point of doing things I wasn’t good at and just finding a way.

I put it down to better nutrition. And sleep. The brain piston is firing.

One thing:

I’m starting to face challenges I know I won’t complete in one or two steps. On reflection, that is exciting.

But I’m not rushing… there’s an absence of it.

I don’t know what I’m saying.

[Beany Boo]

Today went well

I don’t seem to be spending so much time in my default mode network lately. It’s light but my focus seems to be coming in more regularly.

My work writing is improving as my resilience increases. I seem to have gathered an understanding of communication that wasn’t quite there before.

I spent so much adjusting to being a receptacle for other people’s detritus. It’s disconcerting to witness stuff I want actually showing up.

Like midafternoon.

[Beany Boo]

Woke up on a brand new day after deep sleep.

Handed in my assignments yesterday. It’s the first time since April that I won’t be studying, which feels brutal.

I feel alive in a dangerous world.

I would like to do something today; something tricky and impressive. What exactly, is a mystery. It’s just another work day I guess.

Or I could simply head towards midafternoon.

[manuel_moe_g]

“””
I feel alive in a dangerous world.
“””

All blessings to you, Beany, and all strength , and all courage

[troebia]

I feel alive in a dangerous world.

That, as Paul would say, is a t-shirt.

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM

Thanks Troebia

[Beany Boo]

Today went well.

I was able to problem solve with a little more alacrity.

A little less fear of everything

I did an automated workflow that by my standards was elegant. I felt the universe turn around me for a moment.

Someone praised me highly out of the blue. It was less uncomfortable than I would have predicted.

I made it to midafternoon intact.

I think it might be a good evening.

[Beany Boo]

Today kinda sucked.

Someone I trusted didn’t choose their words so well and humiliated me quite deeply. I had to pretend to brush it off to maintain my own safety.

It’s midafternoon and I feel a bit bruised. All I can do is keep remembering not to overreact and to need a lot less from that person for a while.

[manuel_moe_g]

Good day, Beany

That is an unfortunate situation, I feel bad for you

Humiliation is a very tough one, for me it is double-edged, I feel bad about the humiliation, and I feel bad that I allow it to affect me because I have it in my brain that I should be able to shrug it all off as a rational human being

Please be tender to yourself, you deserve better

All blessings to you, and all strength to you, and all courage