Troebia's Diary

[troebia]

I was out today with the Urban Sketchers in the city. While having a beer afterwards together we were drawing portraits of each other for fun. This girl from the table behind us turned to me and said "Draw me please!". It was fairly evident that she had some kind of mental condition and was heavily medicated. Even so, she was out with family and friends. Maybe there's a lesson for me: less therapy and more out and about...

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[manuel_moe_g]

Wow, i wish i had a watercolor portrait from Troebia! So wonderful you have the ability to gift your art on the spot

[Mental Fairy]

Wow you’re talented and kind. I want one!

[troebia]

Thank you all for kind compliments.

When I'm out with the people in this city I feel instantly connected. Also it's an antidote to the navel-gazing I am guilty of so often. During these sudden breaks in my isolation I probably come across as a bit intense: it's happened a couple of times that I'll be walking, drawing or sitting together with a woman fellow sketcher and strangers will think we're a couple, which makes for a good laugh. Something about body language maybe? I'm not trying to hook up.

Last night I woke up with a heavy tinnitus attack. Breathing exercises, rational thinking. No Xanax, which I'm rather proud of.

[manuel_moe_g]

Last night I woke up with a heavy tinnitus attack. Breathing exercises, rational thinking. No Xanax, which I'm rather proud of.

That is so great, Troebia! Congratulations!

[Mental Fairy]

I’m also proud of you. I am jealous you feel connection with people in public settings. I wish I had that

[troebia]

I am jealous you feel connection with people in public settings. I wish I had that

But MF, you seem very connected to people at your workplace? I'll only get out about once every fortnight like this, because other stuff like shopping really doesn't count. The Spanish are extremely sociable and if I had to be around people every day it would probably feel like too much because of all the talking and interacting

[snoringdog]

Sometimes after being alone and starting on a downward spiral, just seeing people and having light interactions helps me....

[troebia]

Therapy update

I've done my last session for the time being. I'm feeling better and have learnt to manage the anxiety and the tinnitus with the exercises. The depression has mostly gone away though I think it's mainly due to the chemical changes of the vortioxetine...now balancing between 5 and 10mg. 10 makes me feel more "together" but the vertigo, sweating in spots, and brief memory lapses aren't great.

My favourite spot now in the house is the pottery wheel. There's something so ancient and meditative in touching clay. My wife has wanted to decorate a few pieces. It's so liberating to think of it all as purely therapy. Tiny steps, keeping in motion without stress or obligations. Then suddenly, something (life) will intrude and burst the zen bubble.

[manuel_moe_g]

My favourite spot now in the house is the pottery wheel. There's something so ancient and meditative in touching clay. My wife has wanted to decorate a few pieces. It's so liberating to think of it all as purely therapy.

So cool, Troebia! Get your hands dirty!