Missing Beany, Oak, Rivergirl

[manuel_moe_g]

Missing Beany, Oak, Rivergirl during this dark season

I wish this forum was a more perfect tool for bringing people up & out of pain

When it gets too painful, deep feeling to withdraw more fully

Curse of human suffering, this deep feeling

I wish I could help out all the suffering in the world, I do such a mediocre job even in my tiny part of the world

All blessings to you, all strength to you, all courage to you

[Mental Fairy]

I 110% agree. You all individually have become part of my life also. Oak really did become such a huge part of me showing up to therapy and continuing on with my therapist. I still listen to his songs he sent me to listen too.

Rivergirl also has a very strong tie with myself as we share such similarities in events and traits.

Beany really does mesmerise me with his ability to link into himself and become the observer.

I really do hope they log on and read our posts without us knowing!

Digital pen pals are the best. I wish so much to meet you all. Or zoom conference!

[manuel_moe_g]

This forum rules for kick-ass people!

If you guys are reading this, know that you kick ass, and that we will never stop cheering for you!

[Mental Fairy]

The day we hear from the rest of our crew I’m going to pop a bottle of something nice!

[snoringdog]

Hello Mannie

When it gets too painful, deep feeling to withdraw more fully

I know this urge, since childhood...

I wish I could help out all the suffering in the world,

Yes. It's often too painful to think about for very long, but impossible to avoid...

I do such a mediocre job even in my tiny part of the world

No! You've given many a good welcome and support to the posters here, for a long long time. ('Manning the boards' so to speak )

Don't underestimate yourself

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks SnoringDog, that means a lot

I am letting your kind words in, it makes my eyes a little dewy

[oak]

Friends, hi!

I can’t believe it has been three months since I took a little break. I was using something good (this forum) in a not-healthy way (I was compulsively checking it 10-20 times a day).

I of course lurked, now and then. I think, going forward, checking the forum and posting twice a week- maybe Saturdays and Tuesdays- would be healthy.

Overall, I’m doing okay: I’ve had moderate to severe tinnitus (shoutout to fellow sufferer Troebia!), but otherwise I’m in one piece after a hell year of 2023. I want/need to do better in 2024.

I’ll post more, in the next day or two, but I want to say hello, send holiday wishes, and go post on our dear friend Mental Fairy’s thread regarding her hand injury.

Thanks for welcoming me back. We’ll talk more soon!

[manuel_moe_g]

Howdy and Welcome Back, Oak!

is checking this forum 10-20 X's a day compulsive and non-healthy? ---

[oak]

Howdy and Welcome Back, Oak!

is checking this forum 10-20 X's a day compulsive and non-healthy? ---

Hi Manuel Moe! I hope your holidays are good.

Yes, for me it is. Inasmuch as it bothers my conscience.

Said another way, I’ve gotten sick of NFL football and video games, both of which are popular pastimes for modern American men.

“It is the same thing over and over! This team runs that way, then the other team runs the other way!”, I’ve found myself saying to myself lately. I’ve really enjoyed both in the past, but my conscience is after me.

I think I’d enjoy watching football and playing video games again if my “to do conscience” was clear: spend 5-10 minutes each on cleaning, guitar, and tai chi. Not perfection, but something.

Then, my conscience wouldn’t be bothered by checking the forum 10-20 times.

Conscience is powerful.

[oak]

I had an experience this week that reminded me why I’m grateful for this very thread:

Poking around my Google Drive, I found my 2017 journal.

In addition to being pleased by my fire and ambition, I was astonished and saddened to see how many people treated me callously, often with total indifference.

Said another way: they’d never consider anything like the topic of this thread. Further, they couldn’t.

This forum, a (formerly) local loyal friend, my fraternity (of all places!), the people at the gym (2021-present), and my (pre-estrangement) father: these are the only people who have accepted me unconditionally, as-is.

I was chilled, reading my poor 2017-self’s words, at how little people cared about me.

I say this not to seek pity, but to remind us of how valuable our community is, here.