Mind Body and Trauma

[manuel_moe_g]

Wow, intense day, Mental Fairy! Such ups and downs!

Please take good care of yourself.

[Mental Fairy]

Guess who’s laying in the dental chair exhausted! I am!
T-Shirt says it’s all! I’m off for a break!

[oak]

Mental Fairy, I am glad the kind person brought you coffee, and that the together brother brightened up your day.

Also, thank you for your post on my thread: I’d always heard seeing a dying person is a gift they give you, and now I understand a little better. Also, I happened to recently speak with a neuroscientist who said quality of life, in mid-life, can impact Parkinson’s. It is time to improve that for me.

In the meantime, I am glad you are running again and that your hand is on the mend.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you Oak, means a lot. 🥹

[oak]

Hi Mental Fairy!

This doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but part of my ChatGPT weight loss study includes a video from NZ about setting oneself up for better food choices:

https://youtu.be/ejusysvbe-E?si=2axuezrslYCAKXO8

I was surprised that she called them “cookies” and not “biscuits” lol.

I’ve been meaning to ask you: is there any language we use in the forum that is especially American? In general, have you ever picked up American slang from this forum, podcasts, or movies?

[Mental Fairy]

Hi oak,

Yes, pop!

I read the word pop and google! It’s like a mental tickle!

[Mental Fairy]

https://researchcommons.waikato.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10289/12096/thesis.pdf?sequence=4&isAllowed=y


You might recognise the author.
My friend Donya

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing.

Please tell your friend that she should be proud of her accomplishment!

(I say this as someone with their masters who, when I saw what a doctorate entailed said “Nope!”. Anyone who completes a PhD should be proud.)

Until now I’ve not been familiar with Murdoch’s work, and that is my loss.

I like the allegory/parable your friend mentions on page 23, about the mother changing her heart.

Murdoch has much to say, if we are willing to listen.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you Oak. I will pass the message on.

My own self observations of recent has been my mindset shift. Not in a good way.

I have got a recent infection on the inside of the bowel with blood work yet to be completed. I’m avoiding it like the plague.

Hand is making a remarkable recovery, with the specialist yesterday saying they have never seen such incredible healing in a hand with so much damage. I have to say if it wasn’t for Joe it wouldn’t have healed so well. Twice a day he sits and gives it a deep scar tissue massage and tests it with objects of different textures so my brain can try build new pathways of feeling. It’s working so well the team at hospital are blown away. We have even covered my computer mouse with different textures so each day it’s different to hold.

The boys went away on their trip and ended cutting it short due to weather. They brought so many shoes anyone would think it was a girls trip.

I went out to dinner with an old friend who is moving to South Island to join new hospital team in Christchurch. She is living the dream after leaving her abusive partner of five years, over a year ago. We had just finished our main meal when the fire alarm went off and everyone had to leave. Ended up being a free meal as when the fire truck pulled up her ex partner was on it so we casually left. He is a fire man.

Mentally I feel deflated and low. I walked to work this morning to try get the feel good feeling. Currently still looking for the feeling.
I’ve been having odd nightmares and waking exhausted. One in particular that has stuck me with, it feels like I close my eyes and I see it again in little snippets. The emotions that come with it is the unbearable part. The images I can handle.

I keep wishing I was the fit machine I used to be and wondering how on earth I can claw my way back. It feels so out of reach.
I want to be happy in the skin I’m in, yet beat myself up for feeling so tired.

A few weeks ago my old climbing partner of many years floated back into my life. I found it all went downhill from there. He kept taunting me to get back on the hill and climb. The desire is there but my health is not. He is a drinker and I know he is addicted to porn. I refused every time. Upon waking up on Monday I decided enough was enough, I blocked him and removed his number. Along with a few others that only contact me or ask how I am when they need dental help. It felt so good to just have the control to pick who is allowed into my space, my phone, my ether. Immediately I felt a little better to have the pressure lifted off my shoulders of not having to respond to every text that was just question after question about going on the hill or how to fix teeth and needing urgent appointments.

Walking to my car yesterday after work it was 30 degrees Celsius. That is hot here. Walking along the ocean front and I see my running partner coming towards me having run 3.7km. Dripping with sweat and gagging for air he stopped and talked and told me about some running trails he’s doing before his ultra in three weeks. Immediately my negative self talk came into my head. I was angry at myself for not running in five days. For not being good like him, and for letting myself feel so bad. I miss it so much, i just self sabotage. I went home and took my medication and antibiotics and fell into bed and cried. I don’t feel like my brain matches this failing body. I really don’t.

I will snap out of this in time. Just annoying to feel like this.

Hugs to all

[troebia]

It felt so good to just have the control to pick who is allowed into my space, my phone, my ether.

Don't ever feel bad about exercising this control, MF.