Mind Body and Trauma

[snoringdog]

Have not, but it looks like an adventure!

(I should probably read the book too )

[Mental Fairy]

Having read similar books in regard to the Great Depression, I found it really moving to watch the journey taken by bike.
The people along the way were humbling to see.

Speaking of bikes, I am off to collect my new ride very early tomorrow morning. Four hour drive north at 4am tomorrow my next journey begins. I have brought an endurance road bike to train on. Exciting and nervous. I have other bikes but more so for gravel, trail and mountains. Now I aim for long distance and speed. It’s been a year in the making. I have to do a quick turn around time as I need to be back in New Plymouth by 5pm as I have joined a yin yoga and breath work class.

The biopsy results came in and I again start new steroid treatment. Alas I will continue upon this journey of healing and recovery. Never ending road. On my sixth course of antibiotics which I stop today. I should have pure blood! “Yeah right” as us kiwis say.

My sleep and sleep paralysis is rearing its ugly head again. I was really shocked the other night as I was in the middle of a very vivid dream and a door appeared in my dream. As the door opened I saw my abuser begin to walk through it and I immediately said “no, you are not welcome here”. It woke Joe up apparently. In my dream I saw him clear as day and once I said the sentence he backed out of the door and the door dissolved into the ether.
Was really weird.

Yesterday a patient came in, drug addiction has a hold on him. Kicked out of rehab as someone smuggled in meth and he took it. Now he has to wait three months till he can maybe get accepted to go back in. His drug now is sedatives. He is my age. He has a teenager the same age as Matt. This patient needs some serious work done, especially on his front teeth. We got talking and I informed him my ears are always open if he ever needed to talk. There was something about him that moved me, he was so honest about his addiction and struggles. I gave him a hug and said we will help him gain a smile back but he needs to make the efforts to help himself best he can. He rung my office this morning to thank me for the open ear and appreciation for no judgement. I could have easily been him once. He is a landscaper by trade, loves horticulture and outdoors. I wondered what he would have been like without drugs in his life.
He will be a case I won’t forget.

Anyway team I better get moving on my paperwork, apparently it’s a beautiful day outside but I won’t see that till later. No patients this morning as i need to catch up on paperwork.

Hugs to all.

[troebia]

Hi MF,
The very simple things, like riding a bike along country roads. The air, the smells, the contact with the ground. I hope your bike becomes your wings.
There are two kinds of cyclists in Spain (and Southern Europe) and another different type in Sweden (and Northern Europe). In Spain it's either full lycra outfit with logos and a bike that looks more expensive than my car, or the immigrants that came by dinghy from Africa who use "frankenbikes" to get around. In Sweden it's simply a way of transport.

I wondered what he would have been like without drugs in his life.

Sometimes I'll think of myself like that: What if...? Alcohol and sedatives are useful for many to blunt the pain and the regrets. To be "low" again after my serotonine rushes is preferable to that strange, unfeeling fake contentment.

[Mental Fairy]

I used to drink a lot of wine, sometimes in secret and sometimes in company of others. When I got put in some medicine for bowel and anxiety it was a powerful seductive mix. I fight that urge a lot. Sadly there was a handful of years that I abused that script and made the most of the sedated sleep to stop the bad dreams.
Now I just face them head on, stone cold sober and terrified of what the nights bring. My current bike is an extension of me at times. My running shoes often give up before I do.

I purposely put myself on the back roads home just to find beauty and peace riding around the hills. But when I see roadkill I close my eyes! Even in the car.

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

As the door opened I saw my abuser begin to walk through it and I immediately said “no, you are not welcome here”

When I read that, I thought of it as a positive, like you're gaining control. But what do I know.

Have fun on your trip!

[Mental Fairy]

On our way, following the American flags north! Yet no NZ flag to be seen!

[snoringdog]

USA....

USA.....

USA....!

Sorry, couldn't resist

What fun! Keep us posted.

[Mental Fairy]

Every year we have Americana. This is the week. What we find interesting is we have American flags in almost every corner and even when it’s not Americana no one flys a NZ flag ever .

[troebia]

We are all waiting for pics of the bike!

[Mental Fairy]

This is our equivalent of The BIG Apple!
Joe had to stop and use the bathroom, let’s just say he had some sushi that didn’t agree and I’m sure it was bad enough to rot all apples in the orchard!