Laying on my self made bed in the lounge googling every link Oak sent me. I have binged watched Blown Away series of glass blowers since 4am this morning.
I have tears of relief pouring out of my face holes! Even my nose is crying! I must look like a wreck but I don’t care. The pure fact Oak is still here has given me hope we can all pull through hard times.
Excuse me while I go cry my eyes out of my face!
Taking a break from the forum. Thanks for everything!
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Mental Fairy
- Posts: 1654
- Joined: March 24th, 2022, 11:53 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Recently sleep walking increased. History of anxiety depression
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: New Zealand
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Mental Fairy
- Posts: 1654
- Joined: March 24th, 2022, 11:53 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Recently sleep walking increased. History of anxiety depression
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: New Zealand
Re: Taking a break from the forum. Thanks for everything!
3. My father's death understandably troubled me early this year. At that time I also learned to only have one crisis at a time: In addition to a dying/dead estranged father, I had accompanying twin crises of lack of friends and lack of money. Though I made it through okay... this time. My advice: only have one crisis at a time.
This I’m familiar with.
Grief is a beast. I still find the dreams creep in at very high energy parts of my life. My mother especially. Just when you think things are resolving another dreams pops by to make you think about things in a different way.
When Matt was born, I held him in my arms in this very old maternity unit. Walls a puke green and ceiling panels with those holes in them. In walks my mother and I noted a glance she gave to Joe. Kind of a glance of knowing that what she was about to tell me will force me into a world of grief I’ve never known before. I asked why she was there and not with my Grampy giving him comfort while he recovered from his AAA. Aneurism. Her simple answer was he’s dead.
Feeling like my world stopped turning at that moment and looking over at this small baby, I had zero clues on how to move forward. How to smile and show this child love, happiness and glee. How on earth to move forward in this world without my protector, my beautiful wonderful Grampy? Two hours later we are discharged because the midwife things going home to grieve would be better than staying in the snot coloured room. I had no idea how to be a mother because my own mother was about as useful as a toothpick for a shark.
Then to be told she’s terminal and going to die too.
The dreams began from that point forward. I honestly can’t remember dreaming to much as a child. I know i liked to hide in weird places to get away from my brother. But once grief got a hold of me the dreams came thick and fast. Still do. Some gripping and complex and others beautiful and vibrant.
The conflict you will have about your dad will be confusing and difficult to process at times. But at the end of the day two facts are true, you are still here, he is not. Don’t allow him to possess your mindset. Allow it to feed your future in a forward motion sort of way.
This I’m familiar with.
Grief is a beast. I still find the dreams creep in at very high energy parts of my life. My mother especially. Just when you think things are resolving another dreams pops by to make you think about things in a different way.
When Matt was born, I held him in my arms in this very old maternity unit. Walls a puke green and ceiling panels with those holes in them. In walks my mother and I noted a glance she gave to Joe. Kind of a glance of knowing that what she was about to tell me will force me into a world of grief I’ve never known before. I asked why she was there and not with my Grampy giving him comfort while he recovered from his AAA. Aneurism. Her simple answer was he’s dead.
Feeling like my world stopped turning at that moment and looking over at this small baby, I had zero clues on how to move forward. How to smile and show this child love, happiness and glee. How on earth to move forward in this world without my protector, my beautiful wonderful Grampy? Two hours later we are discharged because the midwife things going home to grieve would be better than staying in the snot coloured room. I had no idea how to be a mother because my own mother was about as useful as a toothpick for a shark.
Then to be told she’s terminal and going to die too.
The dreams began from that point forward. I honestly can’t remember dreaming to much as a child. I know i liked to hide in weird places to get away from my brother. But once grief got a hold of me the dreams came thick and fast. Still do. Some gripping and complex and others beautiful and vibrant.
The conflict you will have about your dad will be confusing and difficult to process at times. But at the end of the day two facts are true, you are still here, he is not. Don’t allow him to possess your mindset. Allow it to feed your future in a forward motion sort of way.