Troebia's Diary

[snoringdog]

Hello Troebia,

Thanks for posting these!

Imaginary Village - I thought of negative and positive space right away. I see the village, but also maybe some faces.
Like a Rorschach test. Did you model this after anything. or just conjured it up?

Orange grove - nice muted complementary colors

Palermo street view - I see the people! The barest of strokes, and there they are!

[troebia]

Thanks SD for your thoughts. The strong negative/positive way of painting is called notan, a Japanese term that literally means “dark-light”. It can be very suggestive because the brain always looks for patterns. I hadn't thought of it myself but now that you mention it, the "houses" might as well be heads in a crowd. It makes me want to experiment more with this ambiguity.

Why do we see and interpret certain figures often very similarly, but sometimes differently because of our life experiences? We could dive into a rabbit hole of Jung's archetypes and the collective unconscious, and maybe come out at the other end somewhere close to David Chalmers' latest theories of consciousness which are just three Wikipedia clicks away. It's way above my head, but the mysterious phenomena are plainly there for us to experience.

The inspiration for the "houses" you liked was in the background of the orange grove where I sat down to paint. Just for fun, here's a photo of the scene. I usually take a snap with my phone of whatever I sketch:

grove01.jpg (77.72 KiB) Viewed 1260 times

If we convert the photo to only two tones (either black or white), here's what the houses look like. It's half way to abstraction and with a bit of practice one can learn to "see" this without the help of a camera:

grove02.jpg (18.81 KiB) Viewed 1260 times

And if we zoom in only on the trees, other patterns appear. Maybe fish? Cars?

grove03.jpg (15 KiB) Viewed 1260 times

[troebia]

Last post was a bit niche. But putting my thoughts about art and perception into words helps me, just as this post is a sort of log entry that probably has little interest to others but serves me as a personal diary.

I'm in a strange place now, drawing and painting incessantly. It's a bit like having diarrhoea because it's either "escape sketching" or constant Xanax drowsiness now. I've been revisiting stuff I made ever since the beginning of the pandemic, and don't notice much progress in quality. I seemed to have more patience and precision a few years back, and now much of what I do seemed tinged with a sort of scribbly urgency.

Perhaps some major shift is coming for me, perhaps not, and I'm becoming wary because it feels like it's going to be negative. Btw I heard on a podcast the other day that in Russia, during the last century or so, the big upheavals took only three days: the Bolshevik revolution, the fall of the USSR. Some things that were thought to be rock-solid suddenly topple.

I've had to accept the constant presence of MIL and the near non-existence of intimacy with my wife. But somehow I now care more that my daughter is OK and that there aren't any major fires to put out in my vicinity, and fixing stuff that's broken. Eating less, drinking less but please don't take away my coffee. My anxieties have blended into the background, like a constant hum.

The Italian course has started again and there are new faces. People my age, even another retired man this year. People just trudge on, put one foot in front of another, and it's comfortably awful. We're just people, and then we fade away.

[manuel_moe_g]

“”” We're just people, and then we fade away.”””

It is a terrible truth, kind of beautiful in a way

Please take good care of yourself, you are in a situation that is very tiresome, and you deserve peace and relief

[snoringdog]

Sometimes that thought is soul-crushing, but sometimes a relief….. 🫥

[Mental Fairy]

Interesting to read your focus has become more focused on making sure your daughter is ok. I went through that with my son. Then have to keep reminding myself he is spreading his wings and time to stand on his own and process his mental state of mind.

As days progress I find myself distancing myself from his father more. Far less contact, less interaction and less negative thought patterns.

You deserve so much more care and compassion

[troebia]

Far less contact, less interaction and less negative thought patterns.

This is the key to being an independently thinking person. This week I have been in my studio almost non-stop, trying to create. Everything else has been secondary.

I've also realised how in tune I have become with the grove, and how little most people give thought to the soil and the burdens of managing it.

I have convinced my wife that we'll give our youngest dog away for adoption, since he's not happy here. We got him two years ago but he's never warmed to me like our two previous dogs, and doesn't obey nor wants to play in any way. If we don't put him on a leash at midday he'll stay away barking like crazy all night around the house. I'm sorry if this dog has some particular trauma or mental issue...but it just hasn't worked out, what I need is an emotional support animal instead of having to endure constant rejection.

[Mental Fairy]

Can I ask if your wife tried to change your mind about the dog?

I agree with the being in tune comment.

Since being more in the bush and wooded areas I can understand that. Even down to the types of plants needs and space between planting and growth lines.

The animals here eat little trees once planted, rabbits will eat in their hind legs to get to the top of freshly planted trees, deer rub the young grown away with their head and antlers. Unfortunately these animals get a sudden end to life if spotted.

Being in tune with the land is such a gift.

[Mental Fairy]

Made me think of you

[troebia]

Made me think of you

Beautiful, it looks like a lake? I so miss the abundance of fresh water here.

To answer your question, yes my wife is not as keen on getting rid of the dog but she sees the impracticality of it and how I miss a dog that behaves like one.