Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Little sneaky update.

My house goes live online tomorrow for purchase………. Go on guys…….. ya know ya want too!

Our work just brought a new building, moving in six weeks. Sorting the flooring today. Specialists coming to take the chairs out in December. The pharmacy closes on Halloween. All staff redundant. Medical centre have lost most of its staff. Thanks to a big out of town company coming in to take us small townies over. Sad really.

There is a movie being made currently across from our work which makes for interesting viewing. Lots of Maori chefs and people dressed in Victorian dress.

Divorce is not getting any easier. My son has left to safety out on a farm. He will be based there until the house sells.

I have been having incredibly low moods at times. Tonight I got an overwhelming feeling of feeling unlovable, hideous and horrible. I feel like my appetite has changed, my digestive system isn’t working properly again. Not in pain or flare but just slow and sluggish.

Where I will be living in the coming weeks I have no idea. Worst case scenario at my work. I’ve been tempted to just leave New Plymouth all together but I can’t. I love my job to much. Other option is moving to Auckland and I don’t think that’s wise. I’m not a big city person.

What’s a girl to do?

[troebia]

What’s a girl to do?

I've been thinking several times that just like me, you're the sort of person who could thrive in a camperized van. Of course in your case it would be a very posh shiny one with all the commodities: loo, shower, office space, full kitchen, heating etc

[manuel_moe_g]

“”” I have been having incredibly low moods at times. Tonight I got an overwhelming feeling of feeling unlovable, hideous and horrible.”””

Please take care, Mental Fairy. Those thought are all lies. You are simply the best

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team

Thank you.

Yes I could live absolutely anywhere. Camper yes, I don’t need hot running water or mod cons but I do need a good mattress, toilet paper, toothbrush and floss!

I know currently what I need right now, sadly I can’t bring myself to do it. Yoga, meditation and going inwards. I’m too scared to do it. I know it’s going to hurt like hell and I don’t think the world is prepared for my internal emotions coming outwards.

I have been doing some deep dives into what I need going forward. Emotionally and physically.

More to come, I need coffee

[Mental Fairy]

First open home done.

A few groups of people through.

Looking further south for property now as local homes as to clustered together for my liking.

As soon as the for sale sign went up on mine ALL neighbours text me. I found it a bit rude.

Spent most of yesterday teary and emotional, completely shut down.

I’m out at the farm on the forgotten highway currently getting some air. Mattress on floor in from of fire. Rain on the roof.

Last night for here about 8, took the hunting dogs for a walk into the hills. The paradise ducks were going nuts because they had a mother duck on her eggs close by. Billy goats in the hills calling to their young. Self shedding sheep all looking at me walking through the hills, cows in the paddocks looking on in curiosity as to what path I will take. Frogs making more noise than a Chinese brothel. Living in what feels like a separate world to what I came from.

My routine is completely out of whack, not run in two weeks, missing my schedule.
The next four weeks will be focused on the moving of the dental practice and the moving of the home I once resided. Amen for you all and my boy.

[troebia]

Mental Fairy, you can do this!

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team

Got back from the farm late last night.
The night before I sunk into a real deep wave of emotions. Tears, snotty nose and headache to match.
My appetite is all over the place, not sleeping until very late. Waking later than normal as stopped running.

My son is currently out at the farm house on the mattress I take over on the weekends. He loves it out there also. Speaks volumes really doesn’t it.

We looking at homes in a place called Stratford. Just below the mountain. Closer to the hill and inland away from the city life. If you want to call it that in this 12 horse town!

This week I expect to hear from the lawyers about the separation agreement and all that fluff.
I biked to work today in the rain just to get some air. It did the trick. However, I forgot I have to be at the other surgery at 11:30am to meet the flooring people. Will get on my bike soon and make my way there. Silly me. Need the exercise. Even biking in I felt so unfit. Feeling my age!

Hugs to all

[troebia]

So glad things more or less are coming together for you, at least it seems that way from how you describe it.

The place you think about moving to seems far away, won't the commute to work become a hassle? Or is the "away" what you need right now?