Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh you guys are adorable as anything

[manuel_moe_g]

Please take care, Mental Fairy, I worry about you losing weight

(I don’t think I know what are usually your favorite things to eat…)

Sending you a hug over the internet wires

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Beautiful People

So, last night I sleep walked for the first time in ages. Mazie decided to walk over my chest and give kitty cat chest compressions and licked my eyelids to wake me up.

I woke to find I had pulled things out of the bathroom and towels all over the floor. I recall the dream also.

Two large stones were set before me on the surface of soil. One larger than the other. A man beside the large rocks said they are like icebergs and what was above the ground was a small percentage of what was below. I had to pick which one to dig up.

Upon waking with a mouth of fur and fresh claw marks on my chest, I tried to get my Alexa to stop making waves sounds! No matter how hard I tried to talk I couldn’t. Then I snapped out of it. It was so weird.

Today feeling jaded but feel I need a run. It is hot here today. We are on our last few patients so hope to finish about 8. Will get a run in after I think. Three more days till we close down. Very excited but also very anxious.

I do have a couple of extremely funny stories that happened to me this week.

Back soon

[troebia]

I had to pick which one to dig up.

An important life decision up ahead? That most of the "alternatives" weren't visible seems to indicate that you feel you can't make an informed choice right now. Better start digging...

[Mental Fairy]

I’m running, physically and mentally on empty.

Monday just been was moving day for the practice. I woke in the morning early feeling somewhat ok. I took advantage of my early start and went for a long run. Maybe the longest I have done in a long while. Came back and felt sick like I had two glasses too many. Soon after my shower I began vomiting, sweating like a bank robber in tights. I fell into bed and felt my world spin in every possible way. I begged the universe to stop the spinning. After I removed my internal organs out of nose I forced myself to the clinic, only to be greeted by the staff looking at me like I had some new strain of pandemic causing epidemic virus. I soon noted there was no way I could stay vertical, so made my way back to bed. I didn’t even look back at the practice to say goodbye. Upon getting home I found my body was soon becoming weaker. I laid on my bed and slept for six hours. I got up in the late afternoon, daylight was still shining so decided to take advantage of the energy I regained. Making my way to the bush line over the fence I went for a lovely walk and located two geocaches along the way. One in a skull and another in a long pipe with over 20meters of chain attached to it. Great score. Soon after getting home my son noted I had spots on me, sure enough hives appeared. I have had a stress response to all the moving of both home and work. Also, knowing I had an upcoming oncology appointment this week, where samples were taken, I knew my body was telling me enough is enough.

There had been many moments of tears, many moments of absence minded moments and long nights at the surgery rebuilding. No days off in the coming days. Tomorrow we will make use of the weather and wash the outside down. Get up on the roof and clean out the gutters.

My lack of sleep and determination to forge ahead is impacting on everything.

I refuse to make contact with ex husband, my head is in the sand. A local family wish to purchase my home, their house goes to auction on December 16th. Fingers crossed.

Been having some terrible nightmares, all very similar. A little sleep walking also.

One thing I had noticed is Mazie the cat now comes out to greet visitors when they come over. She never ever used to come out from under the bed at the other house. It’s a relief in a way to know she is more comfortable.

For the first time in years I feel like it will be a less stress Christmas. No grinch to live with!

So here is a little giggle for you all.
Matt I knew was seeing a girl for some time known as Emma. Emma was meant to meet me a few weeks ago over a casual dinner. She failed to show up. Something happened a few days later and Matt broke it off with her. I didn’t know that part.

Two Sundays ago I was up early to head out to farm to help move a dead cow that was shot due to illness. I got up about five, made my coffee, toast and took my meds. I was about to walk out the door about 6 so pocked my head in the bedroom door that leads to Matt’s room. I whisper i was about to head out to the farm and I will see him there. There before me was a young lady who I assumed was Emma. She had slept on a pull out mattress on the floor, thankfully! I immediately smiled and greeted her and said she must be Emma. Negative, she was not Emma. Awkward! Her name is Nicole, also known as gumboot. Gumboot is not exactly an appropriate name for a young lady but I found out it was because she wear gumboot all the time, she’s a farmer. Long story short, I didn’t win the mother of the year award!!!!

Love to all

[manuel_moe_g]

Wish I could take your nightmares away

All blessings, please take good care of yourself

[troebia]

My lack of sleep and determination to forge ahead is impacting on everything.

Isn't it a bit like being on auto-pilot? One "knows" what one should do and just soldiers on even though the body says no. And your running seems to be my doodling, a temporary escape.

Negative, she was not Emma. Awkward!

My daughter had a couple of years like that. One morning I woke up to someone playing the guitar in the kitchen, a boy I had never seen before.

[manuel_moe_g]

I once walked into a “situation”… my daughter and her long term college boyfriend…

Her mother was never informed

Now when I enter a house, I do so as noisily as possible

[Mental Fairy]

Love the replies! Glad I’m not the only one.

She is still here on weekends!

Last night I did the one thing I was hoping I wouldn’t, I walked and had terrible dream. Strange thing was I could feel the emotions so clearly I woke up and felt like I just lived the dream for real.
My ex husband was in a room looking at photos of beautiful women, pornography and smiling at me. For a split second I had to remind myself I wasn’t with him anymore. I looked upwards to a window above me, there was a black mass looking back at me. It was so horrible. The feeling and the repeated words in my mind was I wasn’t good enough.
Upon waking I found I had been sleep walking again. I was packing belongings. I even remember doing that in my dream.

The feeling was with me the entire day. I can see it clear as day in my mind.

[manuel_moe_g]

I hate dreams that linger

Wish I could take your nightmares away, Mental Fairy

Wishing you all blessings