Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

It’s official, my sleep walking has moved up a level. Or in my case into a pile of grass clippings, need I say more!

[snoringdog]

Yes, sound interesting!

But seriously, can't anything be done to help?
Is there any rhyme or reason to your episodes of sleepwalking?

God knows you have a lot of stress in your life...

[manuel_moe_g]

I hate to think of the horror behind your nightmares and sleepwalking, Mental Fairy

Please treat yourself with the utmost care, and loads of self-love

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you.

We have woken up to Christmas Day.

5am walk to the beach to see the day start. Very few people out which is nice.

No real plans for the day. Matt made a nice salad with dinner last night so will have some left over salad, ham and spuds. Been a few emotional waves today. The reality of zero family left is hitting today. I live just 100feet from the cemetery of where they are buried. It’s taking everything in me not to go up there. I know if I was dead I wouldn’t want people coming to my plot on Christmas Day!!

Will maybe have a nana nap, read a book or go for a bike ride maybe.

Very lonely feeling.

[troebia]

Very lonely feeling.

I would love a lonely Xmas some year. It would probably be because of some terrible life decisions, which is not your case of course, quite the opposite. Having full control over one's life must feel wonderful.

[Mental Fairy]

Today I had to bite the bullet and face the emotions. Instead of hiding I walked the very few steps to the cemetery. I paid my respects and balled my eyes out. Felt better after

[Mental Fairy]

I’ve come to the conclusion that I will not be having Christmas next year at sea level.

My drug of choice this season has been geocaching. Good distraction from going into work for extended periods of time over the break. Christmas Day was emotional, more than I thought it would be. The tears flowed at random times, the feeling of being free yet broken. I attended my twin sisters grave, grans and grampys. I got within five feet of the stone and broke down like a child. Memories flooded me over the following two days. Last night I was uncomfortable in my own skin so geared up for a long run. This proved fantastic for the built up anger. I beat the trails with my feet and let the mind go. However, 10km in I got a stabbing pain in the emergency exit area (rectum), I have been on my chemo medication (low dose) for a couple of weeks now. It was a reminder I’m not to push myself so took it down a notch and continued on a walk from there. The thought of attending a public toilet at this time of year with no ability to float above the ground wasn’t an option. Some toilets just need a bomb to hit them.

The headaches or head pain I am getting from the medication is driving me a bit batty. It is a type of internal pain that has a significant impact on my eyesight and ability to focus. Lack of appetite and sea sick feeling to boot.

The emotional exhaustion has become more obvious to me, I’ve become very short with people around me when it comes to materialistic bull crap. Complaints of what they got for Christmas or didn’t get really grinds my gears.

My sleep schedule is a bit mixed up and rather unscheduled that it is taking a toll on my daytime energy. I will enforce an early night for myself tonight.

Hugs

[Mental Fairy]

I’m not going to lie, the emotional hangover of Christmas is still present.

Today I put up the icebath and jumped in after a bike ride.

This morning I got up early to do an adventure lab, this a something similar to geocaching. Heading to a location close to home and knocked a little advantage off to make me fell like I’ve achieved something today.

Meet with a police officer I used to work with over Covid period, we both had a good bitch about the world.

Got on my bike and did a quick hour ride to again make me feel like I didn’t something !!!!

Tomorrow I’m heading for the hills. Not the mountain but the rangers. I have a score to settle with a track I attempted many years ago. Now it’s game on while I have the energy, if I don’t feel like it when I wake I won’t go. Listen to the body!!!! (I’m trying to)

[troebia]

The emotional exhaustion has become more obvious to me, I’ve become very short with people around me when it comes to materialistic bull crap. Complaints of what they got for Christmas or didn’t get really grinds my gears.

Yes, Christmas events are to be ignored at all costs if one is living through major challenges. The only positive moment for me this year was that one of my wife's cousins (who is mentally challenged and on a lot of meds) called in the morning and asked if he could come for dinner. Having him over took the edge off everything.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team

We have another year ahead, let’s get through this with some teamwork.

Back soon. Some updates to be had.