Hi from Chicago

[Fortune Faded]

Hey, I'm a 26 year old girl and have dealt with life long depression/anxiety. I too, like others on here, have self medicated with drugs and alcohol, and have historically engaged in other harmful behaviors including cutting and eating disorder stuff. Sometimes I do crazy shit like buy plane tickets to the other side of the world just to escape, only to find that my problems follow me wherever I go. I'm pretty on/off when it comes to therapy and medication for a variety of reasons, mainly the fear of stigma-including stigma against myself. Although I am a graduate student and also have a full time professional job, an amazing apartment, and the perfect boyfriend, I still struggle. I'm doing okay now for the most part, but last year I was in such a deep funk for several months, I didn't know if I would make it out alive. Right now I think my main issue is that I have an amazing, loving, great boyfriend--but he cannot understand my depression. He is incredibly optimistic, happy go lucky, and laid back...it is very hard for him to relate to and understand me when it comes to this stuff.

Anyways....I think this website and podcast are a great idea, thanks for everything!

[Artmart]

So glad to have you here! It is difficult when you have an affliction and are with someone who does not understand. The good part of that is, it gives more balance in a relationship and it can work and work well.

I am a sober alcoholic and my wife has a glass of wine about once a year. After her watching me in my lowest low, she still does not get why I cannot have that glass of wine with her and why I have to do certain things to stay sober. She asks why I can't just have one a year like her.

I suffer from mild depression and addiction issues, but have not had the challenges you have. However, I am always planning those far away trips, but always trying to escape from me.

I can assure you that this message board will have people on here soon that have shared a similar experience to you in those other areas.

This will be a great place to share, learn and get some relief.

Welcome!
Martin

[ManOfaSon]

Welcome Fortune Faded!

And just love the upbeat nick name!

Don't beat yourself up about the meds. Sure, they have some stigma, and I was as guilty as any in buying into that whole thing (and not being an American, one of our favourite stereotypes of "you guys" was that half of you were on meds and had an analyst!). Fact is that meds seem to help many, including myself, with a condition that still seems to evade compassion, let alone comprehension from many otherwise good people.

One recurring theme is that self-medication is a big problem - people stop when they first feel good and often the blues can overcome you like a slow insidious fog.

I'm just starting Cymbalta again, even though I hate the groggy head side effects, because even though everything seems fine externally I just can't shake this slight funk.

Hope you get something out of this great initiative of Paul's.


Greg

[ether667]

Greetings Fortune Faded!

I too suffer from depression, on meds, and now I'm generally clean from alcohol. (It usually makes me too tired anyhow, though unfortunately I love the taste of beer...O'douls is great though ) I'm married to a beautiful woman with 2 amazing children. Much like me, she too has really bad anxiety, body issues, and big time depression. I'm generally more of an optimist in her eyes, though it's mostly because I fight to be. Inside I'm quite a negative, reclusive character most of the time, mostly in my head.

Anywho...Welcome
-Ether

[Napping Champion]

Fortune Faded,

Welcome! We know just how you feel. Getting beyond the stigma of having to take meds was key for me. I feel wonderful today, and just a few months ago, I couldn't get out of bed. The key was going back on my meds even though I hate the idea of them.


Hang in there!

Napping Champion