Being smart doesn't matter

[mythofthelonewolf]

I know exactly how you feel. But maybe I can help with a perspective switch?

I've always been smart and scattered, too. Was diagnosed ADD/ADHD two years ago at 34. That was crazy. As I learn more and more about it, AND I watch my kids grow up, I've come to think of it as the ADHD is a trade off for the smartness - you have a fast brain all around. If you read about the new research with kids who are on the gifted track, a lot of kids are called 2e or "twice exceptional." It's like since the smarts part of your brain grew so large so quickly, it could knock off the development of the other parts like the organization or the social skills, maybe some other learning disorder. It's called "asynchronous development." And now as a parent and visiting my kids' classrooms (and they are both in gifted classrooms) holy hell at least half of those kids have ADHD.

But you know when you see them really shine? They can kill it on complex problem solving, are amazing with project based work, and their empathy is off the charts. I see it as the system of school and work is broken - in that it's built on a model of conforming. But the more we learn about the brain, the more we know that people excel when they can act as individuals and learn in a way that calls on their strengths. (I also work in personalizing adult learning so alot of my research makes me think of people who are neuroatypical like us.)

Unfortunately, we'll still be waiting for the world to catch up to us, and it can be a struggle to go into an office every day in the the same-ness zone. I do a lot of little things, like when I have to read complex or boring stuff, I print it out and go read it standing up in the workroom so I can move around and focus better. Suckers help me focus for some reason. Loud music does too, depending what I'm working on. (With headphones).

I can say all these positive things to you, but I still get frustrated with myself every day too. Just know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I do believe that the world IS going to catch up and become more accepting to neuroatypical people, which will make it easier to find places where we can use our strengths. I plead with you to lean into your strengths, and stop fighting your weaknesses. (Even though I still have trouble with this too, I own so many partially used planners). But the more I can tell myself "it's ok if you're not good at being organized at home - look at how HAPPY your kids are" or maybe "sure project planning and organizing takes me forever but there are things I can do that no one else on staff can."

You're not bad if you can't stay focused - your brain is just waiting to be awesome when it's fully engaged. I'm pulling for you!