Mind Body and Trauma

[troebia]

MF, I'm sending you massive supportive hugs and lots of good vibes

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

I'm so sorry that you're constantly having to deal with this! And I wish there were something we could do. Waiting and thinking is the hardest part....
I hope you can relax a bit on your upcoming trip and that it helps you and Joe.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you all.

Night before last I went to bed feeling like a have a shoe in my emergency exit parts.
I woke the in middle of the night feeling a pain I’m not familiar with. I thought my appendix was imploding. Had a glass of water and tried to sleep. Sleep didn’t come easy. I woke from a particularly weird nap as it didn’t feel like sleep. I e-mailed my nurse and surgeon something was off. I suddenly felt like something was swelling. I update my e-mail and send. Then after some time in the bathroom a large rupture of what we now know was an abscess.

I fall back to sleep exhausted as I had done a 12 hour shift then bugger all sleep.
An hour later my phone is beeping and it’s my surgeon saying don’t eat, sip water and get ready for surgery and meet me at the hospital immediately. I am so lucky to have this team prepared to meet me at hospital at any given moment. I update her and tell her it’s burst. There is nothing we can go but start antibiotics today once my bloods are checked.

I feel like I’m holding onto the edge with my fingertips currently before this trip.

I’ve never been so healthy and unhealthy all at the same time.

The medical team behind me are absolutely amazing and generous. I feel so selfishly lucky.

[troebia]

I feel so selfishly lucky.

Well, it's a very good thing to have "first world" healthcare at your disposal but I would probably not be calling myself lucky if that happened to me. You really know how to see the positive in every situation. Hang in there!

[manuel_moe_g]

yes, hang in there, Mental Fairy, sending you all the love and good vibes

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team
I’m in bed, I wish I could say for other reasons other than feeling like I’m dying!!!! I have got flu/head cold/covid? Don’t know. But omg I think my head is going to explode, makes a change from my arse!!!

Back soon wonderful people.

Hugs to all

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh...

feeling like I have a shoe in my emergency exit parts.

So are you on the far side of the procedure? On the upswing?
Please take it easy, and keep us posted!

[oak]

Mental Fairy! I am sorry things are so difficult. I am glad you are facing them with courage.

If I may, considering that my music recommendations have proven useful, can I recommend two of my favorite movies, if you are looking to pass the time?

Station Agent (2003) and Operation Finale (2016).

Ostensibly about an outsider who inherits a train station, and a agent who pursues a war criminal, I’m not spoiling anything to say that both are really meditations on people learning to be vulnerable, after having received enormous cruelty for no reason. Neither are about forgiveness, per se, but about how a person can live after surviving cruelty by the insane/unthinking.

(Edit to add: Station Agent is great, but very much a slow-moving and quirky indie film, with some heavy moments. Operation Final is full of heavy moments, and may well be worth a watch when you’re feeling better. Peter Dinklage and Oscar Isaac are never better.)

A little more lighthearted, if you like European film, I recommend “Attila Marcel”, which takes a lighter touch to same questions.

If you like good camp, I recommend “Teen Witch” and “But I’m a Cheerleader”.

I really recommend “The Courtship” (2022) which features a marriage of convenience.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/ida_regenye

Edit to add:

I offer the following recommendations with reservations since all are intense, but if you like movies that mess with your mind, check out “Pumpkin”, “Horsegirl”, “Unicorn Store”, “Smiley Face”, and “Welcome to Me”. Each have complex female main characters. “Horse girl” is a lot, and may be better watched after you feel better. And “Pumpkin” is problematic by today’s standards, but a good skewering of American culture.

[Mental Fairy]

This flu must be going to my head. I saw Oaks name and burst into tears! How’s It a complete stranger in a way bring up such comfort to know they are still around.
You Oak just made my head lift off the pillow today for the first time in three days.

thank you. I have to get better before this trip, I have too.

Surgery postponed until after we get back. I need to fight this virus

[Mental Fairy]

I literally can’t describe how it feels to see Oaks name. I adore you all individually, I was soooo worried about him.

It occurred to me that the connection we have is rather unique here.

As far as things go over here, I'm on day three of flu, cold or whatever this thing is. My head feels like it’s for a steel-capped boot kicking it from the inside.
Last week we upped the immune suppression medication to try slow the progression of disease in the Pooh pipes. The stomach is going to be incredibly interesting to look inside in a few days . Surgery is booked for May 31st 8:45am.
I’m on enough antibiotics to cure the population of the north island of any disease. The cyst that has burst is slowly going down. The longer it stays down the better.
It’s a real mind f”&k! Being on immune suppressant at a maximum level has increased risk of liver failure, then being antibiotic that kills both good and bad bacteria, what chances have I got!

I’ve never ever ever looked forward to a trip so much as the one Joe and I are about to embark on. I am even getting my nails done and I am NOT a girly kind of person. I just want to feel a bit nicer! Steroids have packed on some winter coat which is ok. Gives me more to fight back with and I can keep warm in -3.

Donya has made me mushroom soup. Got I hope I can hallucinate feeling well again on this!! Got me some bread rolls to dunk into my soup. If it wasn’t for you lot and her I think I would be pushing up some rather large flowers by now!