Mindfulness

[snoringdog]

That's a good idea. Kind of like a fade-to-black at the end of a film or performance to let things sink in, and to settle.

So many things especially media-based, have been in hyperdrive for a long time now, but our brains don't do so well without an interlude.

[Beany Boo]

Thanks SD

I like that analogy a lot. It does feel like a transition between scenes.

[Beany Boo]

Today I feel like solving a problem.

I’m not sure what it will be but it’s not overly complex or intense.

I suspect it requires listening, as myself.

It probably won’t solve a lot but if it happens to complete itself today I can do another one tomorrow.

I’ll start clearing a space and placing resources nearby.

[Beany Boo]

I think I worked something out.

I followed the path I set out yesterday. I calibrated the problem size and solved it.

I felt satisfied. I could be present to my satisfaction. It was however much less than I needed.

On reflection though, I worked something out. I think it was an adult sized satisfaction that I felt.

This is important to managing a problem next time. I need to feel satisfaction. I don’t need it to always feel overwhelming and wonderful.

[Mental Fairy]

Question….satisfaction and perfection, is it the same thing?

[Beany Boo]

Two very different things, often confused.

[Beany Boo]

The satisfaction inquiry is a seam of gold.

I am having rocky experiences. Modulating the expectation of how much satisfaction to glean is helping. The pain level is reduced. If I expect something to yield 10% satisfaction and it does, it is somehow as resonant as 100% would be.

Matching I am calling it; my new skill.

The more accurately I am can preempt less satisfying moments, the more likely I will get into plotting more satisfying experiences.

[Beany Boo]

Today 2 things came out of managing my satisfaction levels.

- I can breathe through the flashback moments; which are moments in ‘the loop.’ These are moments where I habitually have a trauma flashback. Now I can consciously preempt them and breathe in a way that dissolves them before they happen.

- I’ve stopped mind-reading people. I can ask myself, ‘what are they (concretely) saying and doing.’ It’s a step up in my listening capacity. I get the sense that my overall communication style advanced slightly as a result.

I feel like the next step is to treat listening as a fitness task; much like jogging. I’m going to go on daily listening jogs, where I prioritize listening over everything else.

[Mental Fairy]

I admire that skill of listening. It feels so darn good when you are listened to. Plus reciprocated listening is key.

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF