Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Hi All

It is Christmas Eve here and been a rough week. I’m super conflicted with emotions. We will be having Christmas with our kind neighbours. They have their first grandchild and two other children travelling around Chicago. We have had a talk about next Christmas and talked to travel agent. It’s cheaper for us to head back to states next Christmas than UK. Tickets half the price and will be able to travel longer. Plus we have direct flights to New York now from here.

Something to look forward too.

Hope you all doing ok. Lots of Kiwi Mana sent to each and every one of you from Joe, Matt and Myself.

You all have played a part in getting me this far!

[oak]

Mental Fairy, I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

As you know, both Chicago and New York are great.

Let us know how your holidays go.

Edit to add:

Sorry for being off topic, but I have a pressing question for you.

I feel great after my root canal 36 hours ago, and am scheduled to go to the dentist for a crown this time next week.

Two questions:

1. Should I stick to softer foods until then?

2. Is it common to break/shatter a tooth within a week of a root canal, before they can get a crown?

Thanks!

Edit to add 2:

I feel better than I have in years.

Is it common for people to feel great after dental procedures/surgery?

I ask because I haven’t felt this good since pre-sleep apnea/pre-pandemic.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

A root canal removes the dead nerve or dying nerve within the canals of a tooth. Depending on what tooth it will have either one canal if anterior or up to four if posterior.

Teeth become brittle once it has been removed and the canals sealed with GP points (they are like rubber/waxy product) to fill the void all the way to the apex. If the nerve is fully removed and there is evidence of infection clearing and bone above the tooth is filling back up if the infection has been there long enough then crowns go on.

Soft food and eating on other side is recommended yes. Especially if there is a bite that hits the cusp on the wrong angle. You don’t want a vertical fracture forming otherwise tooth can’t be restored if crack goes below the gum line. With a root canal I always allow the patient time before crown as if reinfection happens we don’t like going through the crown. There can be an apicoectomy preformed by going through the gum at apex of tooth but it’s not always easy.

Please take it easy on tooth until crown.

I am guessing you feeling good because your body was trying to process infection and it will make you feel horrid if it’s been brewing for a while.

Warm salt water mouth washes for the gums are great post crown treatment. Is the dentist making the crown on site on a mill or sending moulds away to have made. If it is a back tooth and can’t even seen in your smile line then look at your options of crown. Gold is solid and very long lifespan. Pure porcelain can fracture and PFM - porcelain fused to metal are also good.

Any infection in the body makes one feel yuck, I’m guessing you’re feeling good because you have dealt with it.

Thank you Oak. What is your plans for Xmas day?

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

If you're planning to spend any time in NYC, let me know, I'll buy you a cuppa.

SD

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for the dental advice! You’re a true friend.

Thanks for asking about my Christmas. It will be quiet/lonely. I do have big plans for 2023 and beyond. But a little sad and lonely in the meantime.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi SD

We will be over next Christmas. We used to go every couple of years but it’s been way too long. Christmas Day here and hot as an oven. Currently on a morning walk before I have to start cooking. Doing vegetable and salmon dishes today.

Joe raised a toast to you all last night.

Did have a little tear this morning as missing my family that is no longer with us. We will be with our kind nice neighbours over the day. They have set up their lawn with games. My heart goes to all stuck in the cold storm over in USA. Please stay safe and look after each other.

Thank you all for being there for each other this year. It’s been a great way to help each other cope. We have been through highs, lows, root canals, sister in laws staying, work issues, mind issues, duck issue’s, yoga, and not to mention Haiku!

Hugs to all of you for your individual input and support.

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

I'm glad you're coping and even having a good time! My wife and I are spending a quiet day with a couple we know who were in the theater, and now retired.

Our Christmas Eve yearly ritual for the last decade, whether together or not, is to watch the 1951 version of "A Christmas Carol" with Alastair Sim. Absolutely definitive. Pitch perfect. All others pale in comparison. Brings a tear to my eye every time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtEbzpvp0rQ.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2c1woo

I remember the first time seeing Christmas lights in warm and sunny California and thinking "That's so strange... That can't be right, can it..?"

Without the cold let alone the snow, it seemed like an alien concept. I guess I'm naive in a lot of ways

[rivergirl]

Happy Christmas to all (or any other holidays you celebrate),

I'm not sure if this is the best place to post, but it seems to be the forum hangout today.

MF, I was glad to hear that your job is still meaningful to you despite the isolation and multiple kinds of stress. I'm sure that your compassionate care is invaluable to your patients. I'm also glad to know that you've had some moments of fun and connection with neighbors during the holidays, and of course, with Joe and Matt. I think your weather may be similar to ours here today, sunny & warm. My wish for you for the rest of the holiday season is some easing of the sadness you feel, and some internal sunshine and warmth to match the outer weather.

SD, I fully approve your choice of Christmas Carol films, and I'm glad you have good company today. Even though I grew up at the beach in Southern California, I took to the change of seasons when I lived in Oregon, so holiday season back here in So Cal does feel a little odd to me. An East coast Christmas sounds more appropriate! I also hope you're staying safe and are not being affected by any extreme weather.

Oak, I too wish that I could send you the Hallmark baker (or flower shop owner, or Romance author, or [fill in the blank]). A kind woman to share companionship and love with you. You deserve that as much as anyone. I feel optimistic for your 2023. For now take care of your dental health and try to enjoy your time off and be safe and warm.

Also wishing MM, brownblob, and anyone else reading these posts some moments of peace and joy today. It's so hard to send comfort via online message, but I'm sending anyone who needs one a virtual hug and recognition that you matter and you deserve happiness.

I think I'm doing relatively well this weekend so far, considering everything. I may post more about specifics later. So I'm both okay (outwardly okay, functional, not experiencing extreme anxiety or despair) but also like Oak, pretty sad and lonely at times. Everything is fine, and not fine at the same time. Like you, Oak, I have plans for 2023. I hope this time next year will be less lonely for both of us.

Holiday warmth, cheer and "mental love" as MF says, to all. And to go along with SD's movie choice, "Bless us every one."

rg

[oak]

Mental Fairy!

In honor of you, and because of the “scenery”, I might participate in a New Year’s Eve 5k.

It will be in my mother’s hometown, site of five generations of unprocessed trauma. Maybe I can bring a little recovery and experience/strength/hope.

In the meantime, I hope you are doing well.

I hope you have a duck-filled new year.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team Mental

I wanted to tap in and say i have noticed a thief. Not just any thief. I thief that seems to slip through locked doors, managers to come through safety locked windows and takes something we all have. Time.

That thief goes by the name of depression, and its sidekick anxiety.

Both take time away from us. It prevents us from filling in the voids of our day with meaningful activities. It lies and takes from you things you forgot you had.
It gags us, blinds us and at times can take our or others lives.

Where am i coming from i hear you ask?

Well since being on medication for the bowel and noticing i am fighting a losing battle i have noticed the low mood sleeks in through every entry point possible. My running has taking a hit, my attitude towards myself and my surroundings.

Yesterday i noted it was creeping back into my mindset. I said to myself, fight it Gia for gods sake get up and move. I made my way down our hallway, a hallway that has nothing on the walls. I click that i for the first time put one little thing on the wall in the bathroom at Christmas as i felt i needed too. A lovely owl holding a hook for our hand towel.
For many years now i have never put pictures on the walls, photos or even a key hook as i was always on the move from my past. The moment i lost another member of the family i would move away. After my mum died i sold everything, and when i say everything, i mean everything. Right down to the forks and spoons. Matt was five and we moved to the south island for me to study further in medicine. To change my mindset, start fresh by leaving the place i felt my mother haunted. Everywhere in town it reminded me of her.

Anyway, i was walking down the hallway and made my way to the back spare room where i keep all my training gear. I put on my biking clothing and looked at myself in the mirror and took it all back off again. I felt old, i felt unfit and i felt down. I put my denim shorts back on and a running top. Made my mind up and got on my bike. I took off in 30 degree heat towards the backroads of our local rangers. Just below the mountain. It was hot, i was hurting, i was biking away and processing my feelings. Trying to fight off the thoughts of self hatred. Grief and anger.
I would of been about 1km away from the loop end where i would come down the other side of the rangers to head home again. I gave up. I felt a shift in me that hurt more than anything. I needed to cut myself some slack and coast downhill home. On the ride back it was an easy downhill. Then i had a thought.....An easy downhill on a bike. Then why is a downhill of emotional feelings feel so hard? Yet the effort to get back up feels like climbing everest.

Over the last few days i have felt like depression has stolen so much of my time, so much of my energy. But every now and then i fight back and the rewards are beautiful.

Then the sidekick anxiety kicks me in the head and all of a sudden i am thinking i need to balance out the movement with yoga and meditation, am i doing the right yoga, i'm not good enough and need to work harder. What do i do for dinner, is Matt ok, is Joe disappointed in me because he has married a broken soul. He could of done better.

Than i wake up again today and make my way to the pavement to jog out some stiffness. I come across a bird in the road, alive but stunned by maybe a passing car. It let me pick it up and hold it, i move it to a safe restful place in hope it would live. I gave it a pat and a little kiss before putting it somewhere to recover. I do everything in my power not to cry, sob weep. I turn around and come home, i notice more time is stolen as i pace not knowing what to do next.

So here i am, a work. Among my paperwork. No printer ink left and waiting for delivery of more. Plotting my next bike ride away from people and myself.

Joe has yet again gone back to his old job as he has noted i am declining in health. He sees its getting harder for me to fight it. He fears he will be away when things change and wants to be within five minutes of home if i need to go to emergency. The thought that he sees this and alerted me to the changes he sees scares me a little. He knows more about me than i do!

A dear friend reached out to me on christmas eve, she was going through feelings similar to myself. She reached out via e-mail and i replied immediately. I have never once meet this person but we share common emotions and rollercoasters of grief. That particular day when i got the e-mail i was on a bush walk close to home. I felt her emotions through her words and they were mirroring my own at the very same time. To know this person is on the other side of the world to me and feeling the same gave me comfort to face the rest of my day.

We are not alone team.

Thank you for reading.