Paul, Professional, or Incest Survivors...what should i do?

[irispie]

Hello there,
Im 38, married with 2 step daughters living in NC
Im looking for some advice on what to do regarding my 14 year old step daughter, and her online friend.
She, like many other teens are totes into social media, and one night seven months ago while not being able to sleep, my step daughter signed into instagram, and came across a 16 year girl in Australia who was on the verge of suicide. She was sitting in a tree with a rope, and was posting her final goodbyes to the world on instagram. My step daghter spent the rest of the morning convincing her that she shouldnt do it. and she didnt. Since then, they have become very close, messaging eachother most every day, sending packages and letters and hoping to meet IRL some day. Recently my step daughter told me in confidence that her friend has experienced incest with her father, and that she cant tell her mother because she is an alcoholic, and doesnt trust any grown ups, and that she doesnt want to go through the court system. I am honored that my step daughter trusts me enough to tell me, but now that i know, I feel really terrible for her, and like I should to try to help in some way. I have the girls adress...should I write a letter to her mom? her neighbor? or just keep my nose out of it? what would you do? Thanks in advance for any insights you may have... xoxo Iris

[fifthsonata]

I'd be nervous about her getting so involved with someone she's never met. Has there been legitimate proof that she is who she says she is?

I have done "wellness checks" for suicidal members of another community I participate in, but any further than that, no.

I'd encourage you help this girl find resources in her area. I'm not sure how the health system is structured in Australia, but you could help her do some research about getting professional counseling and then have your stepdaughter "talk her through" - as in, be on the phone with her when she is about to walk in to the therapist's office. Text her in the waiting room. That sort of thing.

Really encourage her to seek help - tell her to tell a teacher, a friend's parent that is IN Australia, SOME reliable adult. Since she's half a world away, she really has to help herself. Your daughter was able to talk her down from a suicide attempt, so I suspect she'd be able to talk her friend into seeking professional help.

[irispie]

Thank you for your response!

I definitely am nervous regarding the whole situation, but ultimately we are proud of her for being kind.
we've met the girl on skype so we're pretty sure she is who she says she is.

the girl is home schooled apparently, so doesn't have access to school counselors and teachers.
Ive tried suggesting we look up rape crisis centers in her area, but the girl is denial, is that the word? you know, just doesnt want to deal with it... and so my SD backs her in that stance, making a sour face when i suggest talking to her about getting professional help.