It has been a wild ride ever since I was born.
There are things in here I will change of course, to protect the guilty, well mostly myself.
This is an intro.
Late 20s with an inner child that creeps out often and makes me feel like I am under someone's thumb, all the time.
Lived in a fairly cult-like biological fam, all of them are mentally ill, I think one of them might be sociopathic.
I became everyone's little therapist, since I was 6 or so. Perhaps even before then.
I was a no-problem child, always good, always did what they told me to, didn't end up having romantic relationships with flesh and blood people, too real, but long distance was okay.
And by long distance I mean in another country, even another continent at times.
My first actual real live flesh relationship ended up assaulting me, sexually.
Yeah, fuck real live humans, my brain said.
So I went back to online just mainly because it was easier than to deal with assault you know? Lol, yes a lot of this is really cynical, it's just how I am.
Somehow I ended up actually meeting someone through online forums!! They're pretty much better than sliced bread, well, marginally.
No, seriously, they are awesome.
Got lots of health problems just as soon as we shacked up together, figures!!!!!
Moved away from abusive family.
Got a LOT better.
Then started processing wtf happened to me, and now again more health problems.
Funny how your expiration date creeps up on you, meaning health problems.
Currently, my body freaks out at any infection and tries to kill me, I can't really walk properly because my knee is angry and throwing a hissy fit, and I am exhausted
every. fucking. day.
Don't forget punctuation my brain said, but f that all down the drain.
Also, I forgot to add: I am ethically non-monogamous, some people call us polyamorous, but I hate the word.
Meaning I can love more than one person at a time, while everyone involved knows and with every person's explicit consent.
Don't make it weird, if this is "immoral" to you just leave this thread, or you know, forget I said that and be lazy and read the rest
.I was born this way, oh and I am also queer.
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did you run?
No? Still here?
Oh good, then you probably should be.
This is my attempt at an actual blog.
I use lots of profanity mainly because this is just how I talk..
I am also hella scattered, so if you thought this was going to be pretty and simple, you got the wrong blog.
Current goal: to heal some of the wreckage the covert (and outright) incest perpetrated by several members of my biological family left behind. Also while trying to become an artiste! ۜ\(סּںסּَ` )/ۜ
Current status: I need to eat something....writing this fucking thing has left my eating disorder (recovered, do not fear) happy and that is BAD.
Current music: nice oceany sounds to soothe the soul ♫♪
Admiral out!
