I'm choosing not to use my real first name here, so you can just call me Confused.
I'm new to the forum and have been a TMIHH listener for some bunch of years. I've struggled with depression and have compulsively eaten sugar to escape for as far back as I remember (Ben & Jerry's The Tonight Dough is my fave). I discovered in high school I could put a pause on the struggle when I binge drank, so I did that for a while until it stopped working for me. I'm 30 now and have been sober for 2+ years and working on my yuck stuff in therapy for 5 years.
My therapist tells me I show all the signs of Trauma. I've identified my relationship with my mom as a source of a lot of confusion and stress (real lack of boundaries, maybe covert incest? not sure), but I have not pinpointed any specific experiences as being the source of my Trauma. I'm trying to be patient and just focus on healing, and not the "WHY???"
*TRIGGER WARNING*
I also received confirmation recently that my estranged father was/is an active, violent pedophile whose victims included other estranged family members and probably me as a very young baby, before I could possibly remember.
I have so many questions. Again, I'm trying to be patient with my healing. And one way to do that - I've been told - is to develop a support network. So this place seems perfect (even if it is slow) and somewhere I can learn.
So hi
