Funny the things that turn up on a depressed podcast junkies search for psychiatric seminar!! My name is Amy and I live in not only in the Bible Belt but the GREAT BIG showy Buckle! I am a critical care nurse in a very hectic intensive care and I have found a great deal of comfort I wasn't aware that I needed in this podcast! It is soooo strange to listen to an hour podcast and feel like Ive been to a therapy session. Sometimes I'm reminded that My life is fabulous compared to what it could be, sometimes, I'm reminded that some people just don't get what depression is all about. I am always touched by the openness of the guests and am left with the lovely feeling that I am not alone and that people do get through the ruff stuff and I am NOT just waiting for the suicidal thoughts to return and for me to finally get it right!
I will share what I have never shared so great big breath (pause) I was molested by my much, much older brother only once that I can remember! I have an eating disorder that hospitalized me three times as a teenager and still haunts me today! I have attempted suicide multiple times yet twice hospitalized for intentional overdose and once for opening the veins in my wrists, 40 stitches and scars I can never quite explain! I know what it's like to drive a car and mentally run off an embankment or into a concrete building. (Don't stop reading, Im still hear so you know it gets better!) I've been hospitalized once for depression. My Father was an Alcoholic who quit drinking and sometimes thats not such a good thing, cause it covers up the jackass they truely are! My mother recieved ECT and is a compulsive eater who traded her food addiction for an addiction to recovery. (you know what I mean) I love methampetamines but don't do them anymore, I love anything that wakes me up and gets me going! I have had too many counselors to count and lied to most of them for reasons I can never understand. I lost a job I loved because of an addiction to lortab and now have true pain that cannot be controlled.
Lied, cheated, stole, promiscuous, crap for relationships .....you know the rest
The good stuff, Whoever GOD is, he did not let me kill myself and loved me so much he gave me a son and I no longer consider suicide! Because of the incredible empathy I have developed from my depression, I am a great nurse! I do not need a relationship to complete me! I am indepedndent and wake up every day!
Advice- fake it till you make it! It doesn't always matter how you feel just suck it up and show up, most days you will find the strength to do what you must, keep telling yourself you can go back to bed when your done and eventually you will forget to go back to bed! Take your medicine, it can get you out of your head! If, its really,really bad give yourself a break. I have given myself imaginary points for changing the toilet paper roll, it all counts and sometimes a shower it just too hard! Some people really, really don't get what depression is and never will! Don't spend one moment on them trying to explain, they really don't get it!
Amy
Fake it till you make it!
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ihavechappedlips
- Posts: 12
- Joined: November 6th, 2011, 12:19 pm
Re: Fake it till you make it!
Welcome! I'm Clint.
It's pretty awesome that you feel so comfortable being open and finally sharing this stuff with the world. I have had those same feelings, but I've just been extremely lucky and have never really had terrible things happen because of them, nor have I done any drugs. I drank once when I was depressed and I remember thinking "Wow.. I feel WAY worse. This sucks!" It was actually kinda funny.
Anyways, those things are all extremely hard to overcome. I can't imagine. So congrats to you!
It's pretty awesome that you feel so comfortable being open and finally sharing this stuff with the world. I have had those same feelings, but I've just been extremely lucky and have never really had terrible things happen because of them, nor have I done any drugs. I drank once when I was depressed and I remember thinking "Wow.. I feel WAY worse. This sucks!" It was actually kinda funny.
Anyways, those things are all extremely hard to overcome. I can't imagine. So congrats to you!
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manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3398
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: Fake it till you make it!
frogspit wrote:Because of the incredible empathy I have developed from my depression, I am a great nurse!
Frogspit, your writing is full of life and personality. One post and I like you a heck of a lot!frogspit wrote:If, its really,really bad give yourself a break. I have given myself imaginary points for changing the toilet paper roll, it all counts and sometimes a shower it just too hard!
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http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
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Paul Gilmartin
- Posts: 363
- Joined: March 22nd, 2011, 9:54 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: Depression, Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Incest Survivor
- preferred pronoun: He
- Location: Los Angeles
- Contact:
Re: Fake it till you make it!
Amy,
Welcome! Thank you for opening up to us. I'm so glad people are finding this a safe place to connect.
I got a little choked up when you talked about having empathy as a nurse. When I was 10 years old I had to have an operation for undescended testicles. Painful, embarrassing and lonely. My dad literally took the train from work, right past the hospital where I spent a week, and never came to see me. Whatever the opposite of special is, that's how I felt. But every night this one nurse treated me like I was special. I forget her name, but I remember she was from Philadelphia, where ironically my Dad was from. She would make up songs about me, she would try to make me laugh, she just treated me like I was special. And to this day its one of the warmest memories I have of someone showing that they cared when someone else couldn't. My eyes are welling up as I write this.
Know that your empathy for your patients is profound. Don't ever doubt the impact you can have on a scared, lonely patient who thinks nobody cares.
Since I can't thank that nurse, I'll thank you. And now I am full-on bawling my eyes out. And it feels pretty good.
Paul
Welcome! Thank you for opening up to us. I'm so glad people are finding this a safe place to connect.
I got a little choked up when you talked about having empathy as a nurse. When I was 10 years old I had to have an operation for undescended testicles. Painful, embarrassing and lonely. My dad literally took the train from work, right past the hospital where I spent a week, and never came to see me. Whatever the opposite of special is, that's how I felt. But every night this one nurse treated me like I was special. I forget her name, but I remember she was from Philadelphia, where ironically my Dad was from. She would make up songs about me, she would try to make me laugh, she just treated me like I was special. And to this day its one of the warmest memories I have of someone showing that they cared when someone else couldn't. My eyes are welling up as I write this.
Know that your empathy for your patients is profound. Don't ever doubt the impact you can have on a scared, lonely patient who thinks nobody cares.
Since I can't thank that nurse, I'll thank you. And now I am full-on bawling my eyes out. And it feels pretty good.
Paul
http://mentalpod.comNothing degrades the quality of my life like obsessing about the quality of my life.
Re: Fake it till you make it!
Paul
I humbly accept and you are welcome!
Funny how life gets you to were it wants you, isn't it? I was a Biophysics Major for three years before walking across campus to check out the Nursing program (discouraged of how long it would take for a masters). Strangely enough they had one spot left and I got it! Ask any nurse and they will tell you a grueling story of how long it took to get into a program. Anyway, one spot, tweleve years and here I am!
(Now who's getting chocked up)
Amy
I humbly accept and you are welcome!
Funny how life gets you to were it wants you, isn't it? I was a Biophysics Major for three years before walking across campus to check out the Nursing program (discouraged of how long it would take for a masters). Strangely enough they had one spot left and I got it! Ask any nurse and they will tell you a grueling story of how long it took to get into a program. Anyway, one spot, tweleve years and here I am!
(Now who's getting chocked up)
Amy