Mike Phirman (Episode 33)

[Moon Unit]

I just wanted to say that I got a lot out of this episode even if there were some reservations about whether Mikes experiences were not as traumatic or intense as some of the previous guests. My mother has been married four times but she has also been in a few relationships that never became "official". From my perspective that type of dysfunction is damaging in and of itself. When one's examples for adult romantic relationships are confusing and full of conflict and there is a lack of security and peace at home, it is very disturbing to a child. My feelings about marriage are directly influenced by what I witnessed in my mother's relationships. I got into a serious relationship, had a child at age eighteen and stayed in an abusive relationship for seven years before meeting my current husband because I didn't want to have a failed family and end up like my mother. I was terrified that I would end up like her and for awhile I was on track to do just that. As for the people pleasing, that plays right into the whole situation. People pleasers hate conflict and can't stand the thought that someone may not like them or might become angry at them. The consequence of this is making personal compromises that damage self-esteem and self-worth. I really appreciate that this episode was included because I think it is important to represent the spectrum of experiences that can have a profound impact on us even if they are not examples of blatant traumas. It is also validating to know that just because some of us did not have really chaotic and abusive childhoods that we still have been affected by the dysfunctional patterns of families and it is okay to acknowledge that fact and not feel that it wasn't "bad enough" and that we should "get over it".

-Moon Unit

[manuel_moe_g]

Wow, thanks for writing that, Moon Unit

I think this is one of the best episodes for getting to the heart of the matter with honesty, and talking about consequences and how Mike Phirman still works to improve himself and his situation.

The consequence of this is making personal compromises that damage self-esteem and self-worth. I really appreciate that this episode was included because I think it is important to represent the spectrum of experiences that can have a profound impact on us even if they are not examples of blatant traumas. It is also validating to know that just because some of us did not have really chaotic and abusive childhoods that we still have been affected by the dysfunctional patterns of families and it is okay to acknowledge that fact and not feel that it wasn't "bad enough" and that we should "get over it".

This is the best part of a great comment. Glad you are doing right by yourself now, all the best, cheers!