SnoringDog, good to hear from you.
Yes, I am doing well, if “doing well” means taking action, however exhausting each action is.
Keep us posted regarding your anxiety. Always a pleasure.
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Except it's *not* always a pleasure... (just a joke)
The last time I felt this way, recently, was with the outbreak of Covid. I'd been following the events and lockdowns in China, and we are near the hospital in the NYC area where the first few cases started appearing. Really felt twinges of panic that I could die in the next few days/weeks/months....
(Although it's really odd how liberating it can be to think "Today could be my last" in the sense that it's not under my control, so don't worry so much. Kinda like adopting a mindfulness here-and-now frame of mind).
So now Covid may be on the wane and I feel like I have some measure of control --> triple-vaxxed, real N95 masks made in the USA, work flexibility and a conscientious employer etc.
But now, war in Europe by a nuclear power. Brings back that existential dread I had as a kid...
(Met a Russian at a job once who said they all felt the same way. They had morbid jokes about it too. Something about everyone putting sheets over their heads and walking toward the cemetery
).
....And (thankfully) just missing out on the Vietnam draft, which was more anxiety-provoking.....
I know that stuff affected me more than I realized at the time. After high school I was kinda listless and depressed, and didn't want to just jump into the college track.
Ended up joining a fundamentalist Christian group that autumn, having been introduced by a friend. It was very good for a few years until it wasn't...
(Still have some shame about that... although I understand my frame of mind and motivations at the time, and that I never lost my level-headed-ness... perhaps just didn't always think as critically as I should have. I chalk it up to really just wanting a different and better reality. Wishing it for others too).
I'd decided early on that if I ever did get married, I didn't want children, because I didn't know if I could (and didn't want to have to) explain to them why the world is so f*cked up, knowing how it often made *me* feel when I was growing up.
So, some of those old feelings are returning... Huzzah!
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in this world of challenges, i am still part of the luckiest 1% considered globally
Yes, indeed, aren't we Manny?
so, many opportunities to be the change i want to see in the world - so that is cool!
Yes, but it's the many, many things we *can't* change, and need to accept gracefully.
That's a tough one for me ... It's absolutely infuriating how many people in this world are- ranging from stupid to ignorant to downright evil. WTF! WTF!
so happy to have you guys in my life
Thank you for the kind sentiment. I've found solace from your encouragements too.
