i want to be done

[Darkness Inside Me]

i am going down fast. i am taking far more wellbutrin than i should be. I am not eating, i am cutting. I dont care about anything. I am just done. I cant end it yet so I am still going to work but i am not going to be able to hold on long. maybe i will get skinny first, lol. i fucking fail.

[tangledlaces]

I'm sending you great big e-hugs Darkness. If you have a therapist or even your primary care doctor I urge you to call them and let them know where you're at emotionally. Reach out to a friend or two. I know sometimes if I feel like cutting the best thing to distract me from it is hanging out with a friend. Even if I don't say a word of what's going on in my head, just connecting with another person can help. Sometimes getting a few sheets of paper and just writing out everything that is bothering me, that is making me feel lesser, incompetent, like a failure, with no worry about grammar or punctuation, pure stream of thought helps. I have a couple friends that are awesome enough to endure me sending long ranting emails about whatever feels like it is drowning me. They know I don't care if they reply or address them, it's enough to know they care enough to let me send them random emails about angst.

I'm glad you posted here. I'm glad you at least have a forum to reach out to. I may not know you, but I know your struggle and I give you kudos that you've had the courage to get this far. I know, maybe with some encouragement, you can get farther.

Take care of yourself. Maybe let someone else help you take care of yourself. You're worth it.

[Cheldoll]

Nonononono. Please reach out for some help. I'd be more than happy to chat via PM. I'm really upset with myself for not being around to read this thread earlier. I hope you're doing a bit better... I mean, it doesn't seem like it can get much worse, eh?

Seriously though. Hang in there. You are not alone.

[Fairlight]

'm new to this forum and you are the first one I'Ive sent a reply to. I can also relate to these feelings you are having. Now, I'm on the other side of feeling that way and can't believe I ever felt like ending my life. But I did. "This too shall pass" . It may sound like a cliche answer, but really, things do get better.

For me, getting outside helps. Hopefully there is some sunshine where you are but just leaving the house for a bit and exerting yourself for 20 minutes or so gets some endorphins going. I agree with Chel about calling your doctor or therapist and hopefully a friend you can talk to. If you don't think anyone will understand, at least post here more and let us know how you are doing. People care about you. I care about you.

Sending you light and love!
Fairlight

[Darkness Inside Me]

Thankx everyone. I ended up go to the hospital on may 29 in the evening. I am out on a pass right now. I have been set up with a therapist and a group. I hope I can put enough energy into actually getting better.

[oak]

Hey!

I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little better.

You have a safe space here to come to.

Hang in there.