Fears

[hypomaniarocks!]

I fear that the jowly, puffy old person I glimpse in my iphone camera (when it's switched the wrong way) is what I really look like.

I fear that in my youth I won love from others through my looks and now that I am getting older and fatter, no one will love me, respect me.

I fear that my husband will leave me because we have not had sex in three years.

I fear that since my mother passed away I will never be truly loved unconditionally by anyone ever again.

I fear that people secretly feel sorry for me and laugh at my expense at the same time.

I fear that I am not the nice person I present myself as to the world.

I fear I will never truly know myself.

I fear I will never have normal friendships again and that I am not worthy of friendship, even though I know I am insulating myself from overtures anyhow.

I fear my husband will tire of my depressions and that I should hide them from him as often as I can.