This is a bit much...

[Numby&Pokey]

My screenname is a play on the old Gumby cartoon, it's the first dumb thing I could of when I decided to register, which I did in a brief moment of clarity in a very depressed state tonight. I gotta think that this is a positive step because I need to talk to someone, anyone and I don't feel like the most important people in my life would understand. I'm 31, was recently hospitalized for suicide and am currently on my third therapist. I started going to therapy for addiction counseling by choice, was forced to go because of my hospitalization late last year and am currently working with my third, and so far best, on my adult ADHD, which I am having a very difficult time accepting. I'm married with a 3 year old son who means the world to me and I don't not want to be here for him as he grows up, but I'm concerned that my inability to make good decisions nor do I think I can prevent his mother, my wife, from being emotionally abusive and I'm afraid it's hurting him so much. I feel helpless and hopeless most of the time now but it's never so pressing that I ever remember to mention it to my therapist! Am I fucking crazy? Anyway, I suppose that's enough for now. Thanks for reading.

[born-to-damnation]

Hello Numby,

I'm glad your came to this forum. I came here too, hoping to connect with someone. The people here are surprisingly nice, I believe this was a good choice.

I'm glad you're talking to a therapist. I grew up with a depressed mother who refused to go to therapy (she believed she could solve her own problems) and it ruined my childhood. I believe that seeing a therapist proves that you're not only trying to help yourself, but you're doing the right thing as a mother.

I could be wrong, but I think the reasons things aren't so bad when you go to therapy is due to the human connection. People can only heal by having good people around them. I'm sure that there are support groups if you choose to use them. You're not alone on this one, I feel happier when I go in for therapy too (and sometimes I feel like I'm not getting my money's worth due to it =P)

Also, are you seeing a Psychiatrist too?

Anyways, please understand that you're not alone.

[oak]

Hey Numby thanks for posting.

I am super glad you survived the recent suicide attempt. You are a person of human worth and dignity. You have value. I honor you, and honor you in your struggle.

You ask if you are crazy, and in reply I must answer that I don't know. I do know that what is "normal" seems pretty crazy to me, so maybe the normals would rather call you and me crazy rather than be confronted with their truths.

Did you mention addiction in your post? If so, I am certainly no expert, but do offer you this little bit of encouragement: I am enjoying a few years of not-drinking (straightedge, to be specific). I say this not to brag but to be a humble example that people can change.

Hang in there.