Out of nowhere panic attack after such a good streak

[kitkat]

I hope someone can relate to this. I haven't had a panic attack on a major scale in months and months. I'd get nervous and need to lie down and I'd have trouble calming myself, but nothing full blown. UNTIL TODAY. I had a perfect plan of taking all my excess change to the bank and then hopping to the drugstore right after to get some fancy nail polish and other errand type things before getting lunch. Perfect plan! I walked to the bank, used the coin collector, printed out my receipt for my change (which I was pleasantly surprised at how much it all added up to!) and then stood in line to deposit said receipt. I waited for a while and was getting a little warm in my jacket, but nothing out of the ordinary. When it was my turn, I went to the teller and everything was fine. Then she said I was elegable for some options for my bank account so that cheques wouldn't bounce or something. My cheques have never bounced, but I thought maybe it was a good idea. I was suspicious because I didn't want to pay any more service fees, so I was a little nervous, but she said there was no fee unless I went over my limit. Reluctantly I agreed and she said, "okay, 1000 or 3000?" And something about that made me very uncomfortable. I said that sounded like a lot, she said its ok as long as I don't go over, and I just became more confused. It's probably something super simple, but it made my head spin, literally. I said, actually it's ok, I'll think about it and decide later, planning on googling this whole thing when I got home. She asked if maybe I just didn't understand it, I said that was probably true, so she started writing down numbers on paper to show me how it worked. At this point, I quickly got the feeling that I needed to leave. I wanted to bolt, but you can't do that in polite society. So I started nodding and progressively feeling dizzier and fainter and my vision started to go. I said, actually I'll decide later. And she said okay and started typing things. I thought I would fall over. I said, actually I need to sit down now. And she said, ok, no problem. I sat down on a chair beside one of the bank desks with my head spinning. I put my head down in my arms and tried to steady myself. The lady came over and asked if I was ok and if I wanted water. I said I was fine and water would be good. Except in really short sentences because talking is hard when you feel like you're gonna puke. She went to get water and I rubbed my head and my hand came back drenched in sweat and I realized how warm I was and how I must look. I looked around but no one was watching me. The lady brought my water and I said thanks and she told me no rush, take all the time you need. I don't think I sat there very long. I drank the water and left for the cold air. I stood against a wall for a while before finishing my errands. I texted my fiancée who made me feel better, but also made me want to cry, as is a logical reaction from someone being nice to you.

I'm worried this is the start of worse things, but I hope it was just a fluke thing. I don't want to forget how good I was doing and I don't want this to set me back. It's kind of draining. Mostly embarrassing.

[manuel_moe_g]

Actually you handled this pretty well. It was a physical reaction, like any other physical reaction. Yeah, there was a social trigger, but so what? It would be the same if you were light headed from low blood sugar. I would be proud for handling it like you did because you didn't cause a scene & you held it together until you could walk out.

All the best, cheers!

[kitkat]

Moe, you are awesome. I am speechless, honestly. I didn't think of it like that, and your words have made me feel so much better. I think every anxiety that I let affect me is a loss, so, it's nice to get a different perspective. I wondered afterwards if people at the bank knew what was happening, or if they thought maybe I had the flu or something. My neighborhood does have a large mental health facility in it, so I just kept worrying that they thought I was from there or something.

I was feeling anxious today, but I kept thinking about what you wrote and I was able to run all my errands and even chatted with a customer service person, which is kind of a big deal as I don't know how to talk to people, haha.