Not good with titles so .... Hi.

[ninjapanda]

Well I'm a MtF transgender in my early twenties. Currently still in the closet about being trans. I've had an eating disorder since about 12 and self harmed since 15. I also have depression, anxiety and body dysmorphia and probably some other stuff I don't even know I have.

So hi.

[IncorrigibleMinx]

Welcome to your new home. Say anything. We like it.

[IdentityPoltergeist]

Welcome to the forum ninja panda! I hope you can find the strength to reach out either online or to others in the "t" community near you (perhaps a college campus) for some support. It really does make a difference to know you aren't alone and know the struggles and strategies used by others. Paul's earlier episodes where trans* issues and attractions came up were pretty cringeworthy but through exposure and education he's made huge strides and I'm glad he and his podcast could become an advocate and a safe space for trans folk while also helping others learn and be exposed to people they would normally never speak to. We need more of that in the world, suicide and homocide rates for those on the trans spectrum are unacceptable.

Please seek counseling if you havent already for your anxiety and eating disorders (and gender identity disorder for help with that but they don't seem to help with the other issues from those I've known who went). Counseling really helped me to overcome some of my horrendous anxiety by facing my fears head on, which I could not have done alone.

I highly recommend looking up web comics Validation and Khaos Komix (Tom and Charlie's stories in particular though only because you are 18+ for this one).

Look around, there are plenty of ways and places for you to express yourself and find support. Big hug!