Quiet hugs

Don't be afraid to describe the way you'd like to be hugged and how it would make you feel.
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heart
Posts: 52
Joined: March 18th, 2012, 11:24 pm

Quiet hugs

Post by heart »

I've been depressed for the first time in a long time and I'm so empty and hollow I can't be around people. I have nothing to say, I sit there in silence and like stare at idk my pants. so I stay away from people until I can figure out how to get back to the way I was. But I'm pretty lonely like this I want to call someone and we meet someplace and we just hug for like an hour. Like hey do you wanna hug out? instead of hang out? We don't need to talk or go do something because, I can't we don't need to go be entertaining or impress each other or whatever because I don't think I can do that either. I just want to see a friend and hug them for a while and then go home. Well this is pretty lame. I needed to get this out.
ColemanSilk
Posts: 43
Joined: January 30th, 2013, 10:14 am

Re: Quiet hugs

Post by ColemanSilk »

Well...here's a virtual hug, for what it's worth. Hope you feel better. :)
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Cheldoll
Posts: 263
Joined: September 12th, 2011, 2:29 pm
Issues: Depression, anxiety, anorexia, sexually abused
preferred pronoun: She
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Re: Quiet hugs

Post by Cheldoll »

Oh honey I can relate so much. There are so many times where I want to cut past the bullshit small talk and fake smiles and get to the good part -- the physical connection with another human being I care about. I wish I could give you a hug right now.
xoxo,
Chel

" Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do,
care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them.
You are not alone. " — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
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serious_oregon
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Joined: April 10th, 2013, 3:53 pm
Location: Portland, Oregon

Re: Quiet hugs

Post by serious_oregon »

Hey, I'm a little late to the party, but better late than never...H-U-G!!! :dance:
"Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand." - Legendary singer/songwriter/poet Patti Smith
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oak
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Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: Quiet hugs

Post by oak »

Hey!

I am creeped out by hugs IRL, so I send you a high five!
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Cinnamon
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Joined: April 24th, 2013, 6:09 pm

Re: Quiet hugs

Post by Cinnamon »

Hugs - just in case the others have worn off. And how is the depression doing? I notice its been about a month now since you posted. Has anything helped?
I am not sure if you are a guy or a gal but I admit, being a woman, its easier to get hugs in places like support groups, nurses, whoever. So sending a few to all of you who might need one.
That said,
Some days I think of splurging on a massage just to get touched tenderly.
heart
Posts: 52
Joined: March 18th, 2012, 11:24 pm

Re: Quiet hugs

Post by heart »

awh this forum is so awesome. I never had people say they'd give me a hug just because I wanted one. This is the coolest thing ever. Hey Cinnamon thanks for asking its surprising and touching that you did :) The depression for me is a cycle of me being sad and then isolating, and then being sad because I feel isolated. I'm in that second stage now, which is good in a way because all I have to do is reach out to my friends who are waiting. But that's terrifying and I'm stalling but I'll get to it and end this cycle.

It definitely is easier getting hugs when you're a woman. I'm like uncomfortable giving hugs. So Oak, that high five is right up my alley! I didn't grow up with it, we just didn't hug as a family. So people think I don't want/like hugs. But I do want/like hugs. But they make me uncomfortable because I'm not used to it.So they don't give me hugs because they don't want to make me uncomfortable. hahaha My problems are so stupid.

hahahah good idea but depends on what massage it is. That japanese one where they slap the crap out of you? haha way to bring back some traumatic memories.
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Paul Gilmartin
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Issues: Depression, Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Incest Survivor
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Re: Quiet hugs

Post by Paul Gilmartin »

Heart,
Thanks for opening up. I TOTALLY know the feeling of that hollow emptiness and just CRAVING human affection. It gets particularly bad for me late at night when I'm processing something painful in my recovery. Many times I've wanted to just get fetal, but that's where being lazy is a plus. I retain my dignity by sitting upright in my recliner and fantasize about what it would feel like to get down on the floor, cry, and have my dogs lick my face until I start laughing. Alright, maybe I've actually done it once or twice.

But thank you for getting vulnerable and thanks to all the forum members for letting her know it's okay to feel that way and to ask for affection.

Huuuuuuuuug,

Paul :)
http://mentalpod.comNothing degrades the quality of my life like obsessing about the quality of my life.
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