Hello I am Axidentboy and I struggle with depresssion.

[Axidentboy]

Hi I am new here and I started listening to the podcast two weeks ago. I have been diagnosed as a major depressive and struggle with it on a regular basis. I am on light meds and have been in therapy off and on for years. I had a very rough life as a teenager and have a history of mental illness on both sides of my family. I am a pretty open book so feel free to ask me anything.

[Axidentboy]

I guess I will give a little more background. My early family life growing up was pretty "normal" I guess. I am the son of a preacher and was raised in the Pentecostal Church. I was sexually abused twice. Once by a female cousin and once by an 18 yr old male when I was 12. Shortly after I turned 13 my mother had a mental break and was shortly thereafter diagnosed as having Multiple Personality Disorder. After that my Dad's entire focus was shifted to keeping my Mom alive and our family fed. This left me to raise my mentally handicapped sister alone. My Mom had several very abusive alters that tormented me both physically and mentally. I used to steal my Mom's guns and train tickets to prevent another suicide attempt. I have stitched my Mom up multiple times after cutting her wrists to keep her out of the state mental hospital. I could go on and on but I think that is a pretty good peek into my background. Like I said before I am an open book and willing to answer any questions

[maxxcor]

Hi Axidentboy,

Your history sounds like some of mine. I hated having to raise my younger brother and sister while my mom was in and out of the psych hospital over and over. I never had to do the stitching, but I had to make sure nothing ever upset her. It was a miserable time. My dad, a raging alcoholic and pedophile was nasty and dangerous much of the time so there weren't any safe places to go. Funny thing, they are still married and crazy but I'm the one in therapy.

[Axidentboy]

Wow it feels good to not feel alone! Raising a sibling is tough especially when you yourself are a kid. I hated my Dad at the time for leaving me with the responsibility of raising my sister. Fortunately we have a great relationship now. I understand now the sacrifice he was making just to hold us together. My Mom is integrated now and is still in therapy. Since she has been doing better we have rebuilt our relationship.