Moon Landing

[dare i say it]

social situations are so taxing to me

Ugghh! That has been the story of my life. When I see other people genuinely having a good time at a party and I have 2 thoughts:
1) I wish so much I could be that way, and
2) what the hell is wrong with me?!

After years of work, I'm convinced that I have at least some control over how my ability to function socially. It's a work in progress and a bit like learning a foreign language. It's a pain in the ass, it requires persistence, and it probably would have been easier if I had learned it as a kid. I'm just so sick of feeling that way, ya know?

[manuel_moe_g]

It's a pain in the ass, it requires persistence, and it probably would have been easier if I had learned it as a kid. I'm just so sick of feeling that way, ya know?

Also, I have accepted the fact that I can only take socializing in small amounts.

[Moon Unit]

social situations are so taxing to me

Ugghh! That has been the story of my life. When I see other people genuinely having a good time at a party and I have 2 thoughts:
1) I wish so much I could be that way, and
2) what the hell is wrong with me?!

After years of work, I'm convinced that I have at least some control over how my ability to function socially. It's a work in progress and a bit like learning a foreign language. It's a pain in the ass, it requires persistence, and it probably would have been easier if I had learned it as a kid. I'm just so sick of feeling that way, ya know?

Yep, that is exactly my feeling. Like a foreign language. I always wondered where I was the day they taught basic social interaction. I would love to learn why it is like this for some people. Is it a wiring thing? I wonder what our brains would look like using an fMRI during forced social interaction compared to people who don't have social anxiety.

[Moon Unit]

Thank you so much. I'm sorry that this is a belated reply. I've been to the forum prior to this but sometimes I can't bring myself to write anything and I'm not sure why. It is the same feeling I get when I think I should probably call my Dad because it has been awhile, then I end up avoiding it for another month...

[Paul Gilmartin]

Moon/Amber,
Welcome!

When you wrote this
it feels like it takes all of my energy just to maintain a superficial conversation. I come alive when I can talk about things with real meaning but I cannot get past the barrier of small-talk without needing to completely shut down afterward. I'm rambling.

I didn't think you were rambling. I thought you were describing what I sometimes experience to a tee. When that gray blanket settles in and nothing brings me joy, the act of small-talk feels like lifting an anvil, if lifting an anvil could also feel phony. All I want to do is climb into bed. Because in those moments, being in bed is the only thing I don't have to fake, I can't fuck up and doesn't feel like an effort. Holy shit I might have to use that on the show!

I'm touched by seeing you dive into the forum. Thanks for opening up!

Paul