Finally posting

[Katieminna]

Hello,

My name is Christy and I've been listening to the podcast off and on for the past two years. It's great to hear about others that are very much like me. What people see is a fairly well-adjusted person with a husband, two daughters, and a job as a data analyst bad-ass. What people don't see is a person who suffers from social anxiety that borders on phobia at times. Combine that with years of depression, low self-esteem and generalized anxiety, and you have someone that can put up the front well, but is a total bundle of mush on the inside. I thought I had these things under control after years of meditation and even my husband agrees that I've improved from when we first met.

In the past few months, I've noticed some of my issues resurfacing. I've wanted to avoid people at all costs. Even at work, I will close my door and post a sign telling people to come in because I don't want the open door to serve as an invitation. I also found myself thinking that I'm not worthy of affection or praise. I even had a panic attack last week that stemmed from not finding a shirt I wanted to wear. I started thinking I would lose my job because I didn't look professional enough without that one shirt.

This spawned my desire to seek help again. I have lost years of my life to my issues, and I have too much to lose now. I am going back to counseling which will most likely involve medication at some point. I'm also seeking the feeling that I"m not alone with the voices in my 34 year old head.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Katieminna, welcome to our little forum! Make yourself at home in the threads and topics here.

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You are not alone, glad to read you are soon to be seeking professional help, that is the best way to be self-loving to yourself.

Please take care, keep the lines of communication open, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow.