I registered here a few days ago after I filled out my first podcast surveys, but I have felt kinda shy about posting anything in the forum. Well, I guess I'll just do it now. Here I am.
I was born in 1995 and I still feel way to young to be considered an adult. I'm not good at adulting, really. I study classical philology (Latin and Ancient Greek) and comparative literature at university and I live with my partner and the dog we took over from my mum. I like eating and working out. I have good days and bad weeks. I enjoy being creative, but I rarely let myself do something like that. I'm working on being kinder to myself though.
I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since my childhood, but only half a year ago I decided to finally seek help and go to therapy. I am so damn lucky to live in a country where therapy costs are covered by health insurance. (That said, I'm from Germany and therefore not a native English speaker, but I'm doing my best to not make too many grammar/spelling mistakes. Yeah and maybe one day I'll stop proofreading everything I post countless times.)
As I am slowly beginning to live more of the life I want for myself, trying to discover my authentic self that has been buried underneath other people's expectations for so many years, another struggle found its way into my head. Or maybe I should put it this way: A struggle that has always been there has become really prominent in my thinking, to a point where I just cannot ignore it anymore.
I'm AFAB but I have never felt like a girl, like a woman or anything in the binary really. Writing this already feels dangerous to me, as if I should find solid proof first, as if I should make sure what I say makes sense before putting it out in the world. But I am trying to listen to the part of my soul that has not yet been subdued by the harsh and critical voice in my head that has been my guide for my whole life. I'm so tired of people pleasing. I'm sick of not being true to myself. But it is so fucking scary.
I might be posting about this topic in the future if I feel comfortable enough.
But that's it for now.
Oh and thanks, snoringdog, for welcoming me. I could not answer via private message, but maybe you'll read this. That was really nice
Werewolf
