is anybody out there

[rory]

Hey there, I just started listening to the podcast a few weeks ago and it's really helped keep me (even just a tiny bit) grounded and feeling not entirely alone. I'm really thankful ...
I'm 20 and i've been dealing with a lot of OCD and Depersonalization/Derealization (it's basically chronic and i haven't felt real since I was fifteen) None of my friends live in this town anymore so I thought I'd just sign up to the forum because I just want to do anything I can to feel less alone right now. I'm waiting to hear back from a psychiatrist because I just cry constantly and i have so much to say that none of my therapists knew what to do with me... I'm just basically always in the middle of some kind of crisis.. I'm obsessing over existential stuff right now and even though i'm an agnostic atheist i cannot stop thinking about religion and what rules i might be breaking and whether or not God is mad at me!!
anyway, this place is nice and thanks so much for existing <3

[brownblob]

I don't think God is mad at you. You are not that special. That is just my view of God though.
I'm glad you found the podcast. I found it a about a year ago and it has been a great help to me. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I didn't know what depersonalization until a year ago, but I've had periods of it during my life and didn't know what it was or how to describe it. It is an awful feeling. I'm hoping you find some help with it.