Howdy

[suicidalmaniac39]

Where to begin?...
First, don't let my moniker here scare you. It is a name I chose for my tumblr (http://suicidalmaniac39.tumblr.com/) so I could begin anonymously posting my life experiences with depression and suicide. (And I started that blog a couple of weeks after almost shooting myself.)

I am a Naval retiree- I served for 20 years- and am in my mid-40s, married (for the second time), have two biological children (one of whom lives with me and the other lives with my ex in Japan) and a step-son. I live in the Seattle area. I have struggled with depression and suicide for much of my life and suffered some physical and mental abuse as a child. It took most of my adult life to figure out that I was a depressive and really didn't fully realize until after I had retired from the Navy and my first marriage was breaking up. I am on celexa.

I am hoping to add this forum as an additional layer to my goal of discussing depression and suicide on my tumblr.

[Stina]

Welcome!
No other way to say it but I'm SO GLAD for you and your family that you didn't kill yourself. I am on the grieving side of a suicide and it's a lifelong burden.
Take care of yourself.

[suicidalmaniac39]

Thanks, Stina. The gun is out of the house for now, and we have been working on normalizing our lives again. And I still have yet to overcome my past attempts as well. (Even though I have gone so far as to be open about them with several friends and family. It really helps them to know that that demon is there.)

[meh]

Hi Suicidalmaniac. I was diagnosed as bipolar at age 47. I always knew something was seriously wrong but it took my wife threatening to throw my ass out to get me to seek help.

And good for you getting the gun out of your house.