Episode 330: Co-Dependency & Boundaries Dr Natalie Feinblatt

[SpookyGhost]

Dr. Feinblatt shares her experience as a therapist in working with co-dependent clients; how is co-dependency defined, what are some characteristics and how can it be treated or managed? She also shares about the importance of codependents learning about setting, enforcing and respecting boundaries. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To experience a free week go to www.BetterHelp.com/mental In addition to her private practice Dr. Feinblatt also works at Westside Treatment, an intensive outpatient program for addiction & mental illness. Dr Feinblatt (who is also a BetterHelp therapist) can be reached at:

www.drnataliefeinblatt.com
https://www.instagram.com/drnatalief/
https://twitter.com/DrNatalieF
https://www.facebook.com/drnatalief
https://www.betterhelp.com/natalie-feinblatt/

Consider helping out the show by making a donation. Either one-time, recurring monthly (you get freebies from Paul) or by donating frequent flyer miles.

[Beany Boo]

Emphasizing that you can be single and codependent; and codependent in all kinds of relationships (even with strangers!); that blew my mind, and felt a bit like the missing piece. Thank you.

[honeylocust]

There are so many different issues and disorders that match up to common life problems - is it depression? Is it PTSD? Is it ADHD? Why can't I focus? Why do I have no self-confidence? But honestly that CoDA list of signs of codependency feels like someone wrote my biography. I wish this episode felt a little more... hopeful, I guess, but it was nice to hear this stuff discussed so clearly and authoritatively.

[bp3]

Agree with you both! When Paul said, you can tell somebody is codependent by how they get change in a grocery store – I was wishing he would give an example.

[Paul Gilmartin]

Glad this ep resonated with you guys. My grocery store comment should have been expanded upon. I usually get clues by how they are overly thankful or apologetic, as if they are terrified someone will think they are a terrible person for any small "mistake" that the average person wouldn't even consider a "mistake". Listen to the ep with Kathryn Hahn. It's a good one.

Paul

[SpookyGhost]

I usually get clues by how they are overly thankful or apologetic, as if they are terrified someone will think they are a terrible person for any small "mistake" that the average person wouldn't even consider a "mistake"

This was a huge thing that I overcame through therapy. I can still remember how I'd obsess over minor interactions with strangers. Like I'd say "good morning" in the afternoon and I'd keep coming back to how that person must have thought I was a complete idiot. Finally I realized, that person most likely hasn't thought about me since, and if they did, who cares? I don't know them and will probably never see them again.

I can't say I've totally gotten over it, but I'm much better than I used to be.

[bigeekgirl]

Interacting with strangers in a co-dependent way has been my career. It's just not fun anymore because I don't know who I am or what I want.