taking painkillers is making me very depressed

[Bullwhip]

I have stage 4 arthritis in both of my feet and a little in my hands..its is VERY painful at times..hurts to walk,every stepi take hurts.
I take suboxone because the other painkillers(real opiates like vicodin,morphine,etc,,sub is a synthetic opiate)make me feel horrible .
so it does take the edge off the pain,but I feel they are making me very,very depressed..i am already chronically depressed all the time anyway.
I got off of suboxone for 8 months in 2012,because I stopped working f/t and rode a bike everywhere ..it was great..but I had to move back from Arizona because I couldn't make any money..im in California now in a big city and cant ride the bike(its too dangerous)
and I work a lot and the pain came back and I got back on suboxone...I really wish I didn't...I am going to have to save up some money and take 3 months off from work to quit....its a motherfucker to quit.....what do I do about my pain???fuck...life is giving me shit I cannot handle..whoever said life only gives you enough to handle,or whatever that saying is is such bullshit.
lots of things I cannot handle...the pain has fucked up my life..its hard to focus when it hurts so bad.
but this suboxone is making me feel like I will never know happiness ever again.
ive been on it on and off for 5 years...all I read online about it the nightmare it is to quit and the months of pain and mental anquish after you quit.which I true..the 8 months I was off of it I was so depressed I could not function for weeks at a time.
I'm taking Wellbutrin but its not enough..i need help.i seeing a new doctor in nov....these doctots don't have a clue what suboxone does to people..they don't seem to care either.one doctor told me if the pain was that bad to just stay on it forevever.
my sex drive is almost gone,it kills your ability to get aroused....it cant get much worse,gulp,can it?