Fibromyalgia and more

[Noyoki]

I haven't been officially diagnosed with FM yet, but I definitely show symptoms. I'm seeing a rheumatologist in June to get my official dx. I also have arthritis and stenosis in my lower back, carpal tunnel syndrome, and arthritis in my knees. I saw this section with no posts, so I thought I'd drop one in. Does anyone else deal with chronic physical pain on top of mental illness? How do you deal with it?

[bigeekgirl]

Yep. Aggressive osteoarthritis runs in my family. I have a few places where x-rays prove me right to my doctors and aches everywhere. I could probably get a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, but I don't see the point since I'm not going to accept the kind of meds they give people for it. Some days are better than others and I try to take as good a care of my body as I can, but the combination of genes and trauma makes pain almost inevitable.

[FroncDeTonc]

Yes for sure. I deal with Vulvodynia, which is a pain disorder...yup you guessed it, in the vulva. Pain / soreness / itching 24/7. I have off years and on years. Am currently in an on period, and during times like these, I launch right back into depression. It's so hard and I relate to your struggles.

[FroncDeTonc]

Dealing with it is so, SO hard for me. With my condition, I can sometimes go years with dormant symptoms, and then out of the blue, they will return. When that happens, I'd be lying if I said I didn't catapult back into depression and isolation.

In practicality, I know that a portion of my flare ups have to do with how I have been taking care of myself. I make sure I return to a regular acupuncture and physical therapy routine (I am luck to have insurance and understand that without insurance, this stuff is expensive.) I begrudgingly change my diet around to how I should be eating, I take deep breaths, and I look and try to savor moment where I can be still. I hug my dog (harder than he'd like, but he's a sport.)

I also panic. I worry endlessly that I will never find relief again. During moments of relief (I tend to have a few each day), I panic about when they will give way to the pain again. I worry that this flare is the final flare - and this is just how I will feel for the rest of my life. I pray and sob to "God" that the pain will go away. I take a xanax or eat a weed gummy, only to then be angry with myself for just "covering up" the pain instead of getting to the root it. I stop functioning.

I try to remind myself that everyone has something. That I am not a weird leper because I suffer, and that no one's life is perfect. I breathe and try to imagine pink light. I search the internet and then immediately stop searching the internet, because it makes me fearful and depressed.

I don't know if any of this is relatable, but I hope it is.

[Noyoki]

I only want the diagnosis for history reasons, tbh. I have had to go on SSDI in the past for mental health issues, having a record of physical ones as well would help if I ever get to the point I have to go on again.
I'm struggling a lot with not being able to do things I used to love, like hiking and camping. Just being outdoors. And if course part of my brain tells at me that I'm just lazy and using it as an excuse to not do things. UGh. I hate that anyone else has to deal with any kind of chronic pain issue, but it does help knowing I'm not alone in dealing with it.

[Noyoki]

I take a xanax or eat a weed gummy, only to then be angry with myself for just "covering up" the pain instead of getting to the root it.

Fibro is one of the conditions that will get me a medical marijuana card, another reason to get the dx! I have been smoking very occasionally for the pain relief U get, even if it's just from the muscle relaxation.

[bigeekgirl]

Noyoki, that's a great reason to seek a diagnosis. If I had the mental strength to endure it, I would keep on myself. I figure if what I fear is true, it will be obvious soon enough. My mother woke up one morning when she was about 40 and couldn't put her own pants on because her hips would not move, her joints where bone on bone, she waited another 10 years to have replacement because she is stubborn. I'll be 38 in August. One of my aunts has it worse than mom, with her ligaments being too loose and joints popping out all over the place, dozens of surgeries, starting when she was a child. She just got her medical mary jane card and I'm hoping it helps her sleep, both for her and to give me hope. I do not want pain but I also don't want to be on narcotics for life. Nope, nope, nope.