Food

[manuel_moe_g]

Boy, you said a mouthful, threeletters! (pun intended )

This is exactly my daily challenge too. I just try to insert a "time break" before I indulge, so I don't feed the addiction with instant gratification, and also I try to eat food of quality and savor the flavors, so I am getting other things other than a "full empty carb comfort food feeling". But I am much less successful in doing these disciplines than I like to admit.

Also, I am more interested in being healthy than being thin.

[ucancallmeal]

I have been going to Overeaters Anonymous for the past year. I find that staying sober with food is very difficult, because unlike alcohol or drugs, you HAVE to eat to live. Something I am personally struggling with is the concept of a higher power. I have been an agnostic for a few years now and I have no intention of believing in an entity. However some people have suggested as using the group/OA, as my higher power.

Do any of you attend OA meetings, or something similar?

[Jules_rules]

I too am uncomfortable with categorizing food addiction as not as serious an addiction as drugs/alcohol. My long-term food addiction has resulted in permanent damage to my body. And my food addiction stems out of a lot of the same things that are behind other addictions. While my addiction probably won't land me in jail, it has hurt me financially due to the amount of money I spend on groceries, junk, takeout, etc. I eat in secret and eat to deaden the feelings. I eat to avoid work and to push people away. And I wear my addiction on my body every day; I can't hide it. People judge me for it, call me lazy, undisciplined, judge what I eat in public (which of course is typically modest). They assume I'm not as smart as my thin peers, not as professional. I've never had a healthy long-term relationship. It's not about a lack of knowledge about nutrition. I'm very well informed and know what healthy eating looks like. But when my depression/anxiety/ADD is out of control, I self medicate with food. And just like other self-medication, the results are short-lived, and result in so much shame or the "crash" that it inevitably leads to more self-medication.

I've considered OA over the years, but have never been to a meeting. I can't say why exactly. I have brought my food addiction issue into therapy, but so much of my therapy has been about the underlying issues, that we never seem to get around to directly dealing with the food.

Treating the depression and ADD with meds has had the side effect of helping to decrease the binging, with the added benefit of helping me to have the will to get up out of bed, to take better care of myself, to exercise, etc. I'm still binging but it's better. I know the next step is to try and "detox" from sugar/carbs to reduce the carb highs/lows.

[ucancallmeal]

RE: Jules_rules ---

You might consider looking at some of the stuff on http://www.oa.org and see if it's right for you. (to go to a meeting at least) Like I said in my post, the only issue I have is trying to find a higher power. However, it's amazing to be around a bunch of people who do the exact same things as you. It's very validating - like this podcast, it makes me feel not alone. If you ever want to talk, send me a message on here. It would be nice to have someone go on this podcast to discuss some of these issues.

[Jules_rules]

re: ucancallmeal

I guess if I'm being honest, I'm also uncomfortable with the higher power concept. Also the admitting I'm powerless thing, doesn't feel right to me. I don't ultimately think I'm powerless. I'm taking care of myself, just in a really f***ed up way. I know from past experience that if I can break through the worst of the depression/anxiety, I will feel far less need for self-medicating and will enjoy being active again. I've been in a bit of a downward spiral lately. But I've been on an upward spiral before and I know what that looks like and how it feels and I believe in my heart I can get there again.

I am however, open to the idea of a group. I haven't actually looked into it but I'm sure there must be other groups that deal with this, but in a different way. Meanwhile, this forum feels like a group of sorts, just not in real time.

Some people on the podcasts or on the forums have talked about treating their depression/anxiety first by changing diet and exercise, but some folks know, that until some of us can climb out of the depression, exercise is a joke and food is love (kidding of course, but that's how it feels). I kind of think I'm at a tipping point of getting on the upswing and finding some balance.

I'm always open for more discussion

[Ella Menneau P.]

My drug of choice! It's legal and readily available! And hey, depending on how out of control I am, it could be all sugar all the time, or hyper-restrictive (no grains/dairy/fat/carb/flavor/pleasure). Yeah, food is the club I use to beat myself for EVERYTHING. Bad day? Aww shucks, Ben & Jerry are good company, and they love the movies you pick. Lonely? Paul Newman is ready to coat every red leaf of lettuce in creamy blue cheese. Awwww yeah. Haven't showered in 3 days? no problem, the pizza delivery guy is used to leaving the pie on the porch and ringing the bell, and he really appreciates the big tip!

Dude, you are not alone, I totally get your struggle with food.

*Oh yeah, you got good news! let's go gorge ourselves at the local whatever to celebrate! WHEEE ! Cake! Now we can regret our happiness, too!

[NeedAmor]

count me in! food is my healing-option when i'm depressed, luckily even i binge so much food, my metabolism is so fast that i'm rarely getting fat. So, even i eat a lot, somewhat, the pleasure is there.

[ovoce]

I've been obese since I was about 5 years old and definitely have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I know a lot about healthy eating, but have a very addictive personality (runs in the family) so even if I'm eating super healthy, I'll always binge on horribly crap eventually unless I have something else to replace it with. I managed to lose almost 100lbs (I was still obese but barely) by eating very healthy and every time I wanted to binge I just cut myself with a razor on my leg instead. Everyone said I looked amazing though! About 6 months into my relationship with my now-husband I stopped cutting because I didn't want to disappoint him or worry him, and have since then (which is also around when I graduated college and therefore lost access to the dr who prescribed my medication and my therapist) gained back around 50lbs. I feel disgusting but I can't seem to stop, just switch out one addiction for another. I almost wish I could go back to cutting because I at least felt pretty as long as I had clothes on to cover the scars, but I won't.