Sex Addict in Panic Mode

[senoranonymoso]

I'm fairly new here but discovered the podcast about a month ago and I absolutely love it. I'm dealing with a lot of issues with my family and waking up the fact that my lifelong depression stems from physical/mental abuse as a child.

I have a severe porn addiction. I've spent up to 10 hours or full days off and on with porn/masturbating. On average I was using about 3 times outside of having mediocre sex with my wife a few times/week. I'm trying to recover from this but I can't seem to shake it.

I don't know why I'm posting this but I've had a bad day of relapsing (it's been maybe a day since my last use) and it's causing me to freak out about my life. I don't feel like I'm ever going to recover and it's going to be the end of me.

I use at work, in the car, in the bathroom of ANY home I visit...pretty much anywhere. I feel pathetic and dirty.

I'm sorry if this rant is annoying and I don't even know what I'm asking, but thank you for reading.

[duck1]

I feel for you.

Try to be less hard on yourself, you are a person who need help.

[Jenny Jump]

I don't know if you still lurk here or not, but just read your post. I too am a sex addict. I go to support groups for it and that helps a lot. Have you looked into that sort of thing? Do you see a therapist for it? Anyway, just know you are being thought of and I hope you get some relief.

[Jay Dub]

I am there with you, my porn addiction ruined my view of women and almost destroyed my marriage. I wish you the best and hope you find the help you need.

[kmisz]

How did it ruin your view of women?

[Jay Dub]

It made me feel as though they were just there to be used, to be played with. I know that is not the case but I feel that most porn, not all, portrays women as such.

[LatinPhrase]

I'm struggling with porn right now. I know that feeling when you realize something is affecting you negatively, but you just can't seem to quit it. Cam models are my specific addiction of choice. I don't know why I can't just STOP. Maybe it's my loneliness and depression, or a release for my anxiety, but either way it's costing me money and it makes me feel gross. I feel your pain and I'm wishing you all the best.

[HermitMisanthrope]

I too struggle with sex addiction.

It's one of my unhealthy ways of coping with the emptiness inside. I used to view porn and masturbate excessively in my 20's.
Fortunately, in my 30's the frequency has been reduced drastically.

I've been trying to quit porn and masturbation for a long while now but it's so hard. The longest I've abstained was a month.

I also frequent the services of prostitutes. Not just for the sex, but mainly for female companionship to alleviate my emotional scars.

Although I'm not blowing all my money on prostitutes, I spend a considerable amount of my budget on them. I could have use that money other things, or
just save it for a rainy day.

[Elmer68]

Hi

I can relate to this one so much I feel like I could have written it myself. I have calmed down from a dizzying, sweaty self-hating state. What brought it on was a three-hour binge of masturbating to web cam porn. Because of the Sertraline I take it can take a long time to climax. Today I could not climax at all. I sweated bullets and left a massive pool of sweat and stink on my couch. But no orgasm, no relief even though I know it would be temporary.

To put things in an even more embarrassing perspective I turn 47 years old this month and I am still jerking off to porn like I am still a teenager. I know that I have a problem. There is a support group that I have mulled over attending but I don't know if I could do it. I don't want to speak to anyone about it. I don't want to communicate or be seen.

Elmer68
P.S. I did an interview with Paul in January but he has not aired it yet, in which I spoke about this stuff