Need help in NYC

[stormy]

Hello everyone,

For about the last month I have been trying to find some professional help for my depression which has lasted now for about 6 months. I no longer have much feelings when it comes to living or dying but after not being able to go through with killing myself twice this summer... I am just fucking tired.
I do not care to get better as much as I would just like for my mind to stop racing with thoughts I wish I could stop and to not feel so emotionally drained every damn day.

I finally found a GP... the office NEVER picks up the phone so I have given up. The clinic I once went to for therapy (I was seeing someone else in a private practice but they were not very reactive when I admitted that I no longer wanted to be in therapy because I was still hurting and felt it was not help) now has a rule that you have to have an appointment the day of or after you call to make one. Every time I have called they are full or have like three times I am unable to make. Then I finally called at 8:30am as as suggested, and no one picked up twice! On the third called I got someone... nothing open that day or the next day. I rolled back over because I was too half asleep to cry. I tried to contact other private therapist and they are either booked for at least a month or are out-of-network for my insurance. The last person I tried was a NP, she's on vacation then booked for two months.
I called 211, went to their website... I am just so fucking overwhelmed now I just... I need someone to hold my hand and say... I found you someone your appointment is ______. They can help put you in contact with everything else. Talk therapy, support group, medications... whatever. I am honestly just... I am down for whatever treatment at this point. All of them even. I just want my brain back if nothing else.

If you have any pointers I would be so thankful. I know lots of people think that if you have insurance and live in a big city that getting help is easy. But... well... there are millions of people here trying to get help too, and it depends on your insurance.

Thanks.

[Lucy]

I dont have any pointers, but I completely empathize. Im going through the same thing here. Ive been applying to low cost therapists and just for insurance in general and keep getting turned down or my case file is lost or they just dont pick up the phone. I got turned away from a crisis center. I get the 'can SOMETHING just got RIGHT?' frustration.

[manuel_moe_g]

stormy, I am sorry to hear that you are having such difficulty in finding professional help. Below is the forum copypasta, I hope it helps you.

You don't deserve this added burden, please use this forum as a resource because many are in the same boat.

All the best, stormy, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

___.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.______.oOo.___

Low/No Cost Mental Health Resources

United States website to find sliding scale "low/no" cost mental health services. Also information on medication assistance: NeedyMeds - Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics U.S. Database

Discussion of low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: Maria Bamford podcast, Episode 95, Jan 04 2013 at minute 6:00.

If you think you might need this resource, then you definitely need this resource - please check out the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network - RAINN at RAINN.org

Google searches for low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: your town or county + one of these terms:

• low cost counselling service
• sliding scale counselling service
• CMHC
• community mental health
• community service board office

From this MentalPod board - some places to get help for people with limited resources:

• Help for little or no money
• Best Insurance Companies/Types for Mental Health Care
• Links for More Mental Health Info/Suicide Hotlines

Here is a post and thread on Reddit about getting medication at low or no cost: Community Assistance Program, accepted at Target pharmacy and many other pharmacies

If you are just needing someone with the chat with online, not a professional, there is a great depression chat room that usually has at least 40 different people, you can go and go private and discuss issues and just get stress off your chest. Here is the link:

depression-chat-rooms.org

Finally, here is a good summary of the precursors to suicide to help you understand yourself and others, it is from a PhD psychologist whose father committed suicide:

American Psychological Association - Thomas Joiner, PhD - Precursors to suicide, for yourself and others

Cheers to you, for scrolling all the way down to the bottom of this copypasta!

[stormy]

Hi Lucy,
Thank you for your response, I just read your thread actually... I am so sorry you are going through some similar to what I am experiencing. I have so many "can something just go right!?" moments while trying to find someone to help me. I believe us writing here is a good sign though.

Again, thank you manuel_moe_g. Your words and copypasta really do help for the moment. I will be saving those resources you shared. Those are some really good pointers, some I have never heard of.

I found someone who can see me on September 12th so I am just trying to look at that date as something to look forward to but I was scared that if I am disappointed with the experience that I will spiral again.

[rivergirl]

Hi Stormy,
You may have already tried this, but meetup.com lists support groups for many different issues and you can focus in on the specific part of NYC where you live.

I know that it isn't easy to find help even when you live in a large metropolitan area & have insurance. I'm in a huge metropolitan area & have an HMO through work, but so much depends on where the resources are located, your schedule if you work or go to school, what your insurance covers, etc. And it can take trying a few therapists or groups to find the ones that are the best fit for you. Please don't give up, though. There's help out there and you deserve to start feeling better!!!

rivergirl

[stormy]

Hello Rivergirl,

I was under able to find a meetup group that I wanted to go to but I do agree that it is a good idea. If the therapist I was to see next week does not work out I am going to have to try again!!
Today was a rough day with my depression, felt weighted down to the couch, suicidal ideation, just plain ol' tired again. So of course I came here... and it really meant something to see someone reply.

Thanks!

[rivergirl]

I'm so sorry you've been in a bad place, Stormy. I keep thinking of the podcast episode where a guest described having postpartum depression in Canada and the health service sent someone to check on her and take her to a support group on a regular basis. I wish we had something like that here in the U.S. Depression is so exhausting that it often seems overwhelming to have to seek help on your own. I'm hoping for the best for your therapy appointment, or at least that the therapist can provide some help temporarily and get you on your way toward the resources you need. Sending you hugs! rivergirl