Dealing with alcoholic parent

[Hidalgo]

I get the feeling that I was never acknowledged by my father growing up and nothing has changed. I don't know how to describe it other than by saying I never existed emotionally to him. He will say I Love You when he feels guilt and even though he means it, whatever mental issues that are going on besides the alcohol keep his dark side of blame and manipulation active. I was at my parents house today and wanted to clean up the rabbit cage they have because it needed it. After a few minutes he came outside and started questioning me. When I was a kid he would just start becoming abusive and question me until I could not take the frustration. I couldn't really do anything right, and he was not capable of teaching anything even though he had the knowledge. But today I was getting sick because the rabbit cage had been neglected and it was upsetting me that I could not take care of it without my father wanting to know why I was doing what I was doing. He is a hoarder. If I can I will try to say the serenity prayer and get out of the house, but when there is something that requires my attention it is very hard to deal with. I feel alone because I never had any way of dealing with any of this growing up and am just starting to find ways to take actual care for my well being.

[manuel_moe_g]

Alcoholism is tough because the alcoholic is "stuck" at the mental age they were when they began using alcohol to handle everything uncomfortable. And, an alcoholic is fundamentally incapable of honoring any promise or commitment. Since it is a father, you are going back to the well, time and time again, even though it is completely dry and will always be dry. Hording is a compounding factor, almost as destructive as alcoholism.
Please take care, you don't deserve all this. I will pray you can love yourself as you deserve. I have no help to give, even though you deserve it, because of my limits. I can just honor your pain. Please take care.

[fifthsonata]

Is it possible you can tend to these duties when your parent is asleep? I'm not sure if you live there, but if the rabbit's health is being jeopardized, perhaps try when they're asleep or not at home. I doubt they'd even notice.

If that isn't an option, why not call animal control? I know it sounds drastic, but if the rabbit doesn't have a clean and healthy place to live, it puts the life of the animal in jeopardy. Don't call this a punishment and don't feel guilt over it - consider it this way: they took on the responsibility of owning a pet. They're neglecting the pet. They don't deserve to have the pet if they can't tend to it. AAaaaannNNnnndddd....if it helps, consider it karma!

[Hidalgo]

I find myself summoning flashbacks often lately if I am in a good mood consisting of chaos and abuse from years back. Today out of nowhere I started thinking of an incident where I was confronting my father who was in an alcoholic rage,while my younger sister was in the room. I was reacting trying to control his anger, which only accelerated until my sister broke down sobbing. My father then had the opportunity to turn it on me "see what you did?". I don't know how to feel about this. What bothers me the most is the memory of my sister breaking down who had no comprehension of my fathers condition. It gives me the worst kind of anger towards my father and also makes me feel guilty for making the situation worse.