[2] a lot of sleeping . I dislike how much sleeping I am capable of. My need for sleep manifests as a steady slight pain in my forehead and behind my eyes. Heh, could be allergies! Good idea to walk around the block. Easy exercise to start, and once you begin, you cannot really bail out after a few seconds.
When I think back on my life, and remember how selfish and self-absorbed I have been, it is good to remind myself that narcissism is understandable when someone is in pain because pain causes the organism to focus inward. I was in pain, and I didn't have very good tools for dealing with the pain, so narcissism was natural. That makes me feel better, to remember this. Also, makes me feel grateful that I have better tools now for dealing with pain.
I am praying for help now. I am so glad I stopped caring about the "real" Jesus of the worldly church and the worldly bible, and now I pray to the Jesus of my youthful imagination - a Jesus who doesn't send anyone to hell, a Jesus who is not a "jealous god", a Jesus who is there for all who are weak.
