Going to be alone forever

[Herself]

I went to a movie over the weekend and was waiting in the lobby when an older woman sat next to me. She asked if there was anything playing that she might enjoy. She'd already seen one flick and just didn't want to go back to the home. Her husband had been dead for almost 20 years and her daughters were grown, and though they live in the same town, were too busy to drive across town to visit. I felt so bad for this poor woman, spending a Sunday watching movies alone just to be out of the house. But then I realized that I was doing the same thing! I'm 42, never been married, have no friends, and am so lonely. I hate every minute of every day. But I'm ugly and boring and only seem to attract men who only feel good by making others feel bad.

[weary]

I know that this isn't what you meant - you obviously are thinking about a romantic partner, friends, family to be close to, and I completely understand it. But the fact that a perfect stranger came up to you and you were able to have a nice conversation and obviously empathize somewhat with her (indicating the ability to make an emotional connection) seems nice in a way. That seems like some evidence that you are an approachable, kind, engaging person.

I don't think that you are going to be alone forever. None of us can predict the future. I hope that you can keep trying to connect with people, whether they are friends, strangers or just on this message board. Keep putting yourself out there and making yourself receptive to other people. Being lonely sucks. I'm really sorry that you are feeling so hopeless. There are lots of people out there (like the woman at the movies) who are also lonely, and some of us just don't have the instruction manual to figure out how to connect with those other people. I'm not great at it myself, but it's not something inherent about you - it's a skill like anything else that you practice.

[duck1]

very nice reply weary.